While most women might really appreciate diamonds or a day at the spa -my Boyfriend gave me the most amazing gift this past weekend that to me was far better.

My gift arrived at 7am on Saturday morning.  A ten yard, massive box of steel.  I am pretty sure I clapped and jumped up and down when i saw it.  My very own dumpster! Mine to have and fill over the course of the next two weeks!

I have been carrying the weight of stuff around for the past ten plus years of my life, and it’s made me heavier and heavier inside as time has made mountains out of molehills.

Clutter.  It’s in my home, workspace, closets, and attic.   I had been accumulating “stuff” since the beginning of my marriage and I’m not sure why… i only know that it was mostly unconscious.  When i look back however I can recognize the feeling that would overtake me when it came to a moment when an opportunity to accumulate something else would present itself… i felt this excited anxiety … a rush. Looking back I wonder if it’s not the same equivalent to over-eating… somehow the stuff (food) was needed ( i felt) to fill the void inside myself.  That the act of buying, accumulating,  or inheriting would actually make me feel better (momentarily of course).

Like – really, what the hell was I going to really do with five full sets of dishes anyway? I’d considered putting them all around me on the floor so I could roll around naked amongst them but then what?  I don’t even really entertain or cook fer heavens sake, and how bout that growing pile of craft supplies?  Fabrics, scrap book paper, bee’s wax, raffia, knitting needles? and “notions” – I mean seriously- NOTIONS?   After watching a few episodes of horders I think I might be on to something when I say that there’s a trend there. THERE: At Michaels craft store, the Hobby Lobby, …a hoarders paradise. I could fill an entire dumpster with the well intended projects I was planning on doing.  Oh well…hemp soap making will have to wait.

We started with my upstairs office and sorted through all the stuff I was scared to throw away when I closed both my retail stores down, the stuff I was scared to throw away when I moved from newport, the stuff I was scared to throw away when I moved from Maine, oh, and the stuff I was scared to throw away when I moved from Michigan.  We emptied file cabinets and boxes and bags. We cleaned out drawers, cleared bookshelves, and brought “free” giveaways down to the road so someone else could have them. Then it was the garage, and next I’ll work on my closets.

Out went boxes of cards from people I had known over the years… why did I still have old love letters from high school?  Evidence that I was wanted I suppose? Did I think those objects somehow created my identity?  Who are we without our stuff anyway?  I find it so interesting that I would even hang on to those things…  !

It took us only four hours to fill that dumpster to the top … no need for the two week rental after-all.  By the end I felt a growing sense of ease and clarity that left me feeling happy, peaceful, and hopeful.  It’s quite something to unload the burden of stuff…. just shrug it off… the weight of the world- that’s what it really feels like.

If you are looking for the next great unique gift for your loved one- don’t ever under estimate the power of a dumpster.  Throwing the past away can be incredibly empowering… especially if you don’t want to drag a bunch of junk into your future.  I can see much more clearly now… there is a bright, light future awaiting!