When you forgive, you heal your own anger and hurt and are able to let love lead again. It’s like spring cleaning for your heart. – Marci Shimoff.
Why is it so difficult to forgive someone? I’ve often asked myself this question when I’ve labored over feelings of anger for way longer than anyone “should”. Over time though- I start to realize that I am the one who is actually suffering by hanging on to the emotion.
Like all negative emotions – they may serve you for a short time- but then they should really get cleared out.
Anger is tough- we feel mis-treated, misunderstood, and perhaps invalidated. It can create a soul fever in our heart that need’s to run it’s course. It’s important that we let it run, just as you might allow a child’s fever burn so that the body can fight the infection. Feeling the stages of anger might be much more useful than trying to numb them or suppress them.
Over time – one might pray for freedom from this anger so that it lessons, and we can heal- bit by bit. During this time it’s important to just offer yourself compassion and patience. Sounds funny but really- is it going to make it any better if you feel like you should feel different by now? If we just let the emotion “be” what it needs to be inside of us – we can use it for reflection.
* Does this anger feel familiar?
* Are there other places in my life that remind me of this type of event?
* Am I being kind to myself while I am feeling this way?
It’s important to remember that as much as we would deeply desire for the other person to change, or apologize, or validate our feelings that we can not control another’s actions or experience. Only ours. ( I hate that.)
Ultimately- the biggest gift you can give YOURSELF is to forgive. When you forgive- it does not necessarily about giving something to the other – but more- that you are giving to yourself. You give your heart permission to expand again… permission to love again, trust again, laugh again.
It’s spring- and old resentments and wounds eventually pile up like enormous tumble weeds in the spirit. If you can let go… and ask forgiveness to visit, you may be able to experience a lightness of being you have not felt in a while.
Breath it in…