WHY did this happen to me?

ImageOn Thursday afternoon I walked into Wendy Rodger’s room and was greeted by a beautiful smile and searching eyes… unknowing and still in that place of, “WTF just happened to me???”

Wendy has the gift of regal presence, not superior, but a deeply souled wisdom that I imagine could be traced back many lifetimes. I felt an immediate respect for her and not just out of the huge appreciation I felt for her in everything she is dealing with. But her presence almost demands a respect. I found myself wanting to pay close attention to everything she shared.

Monica and I were there visiting Wendy together and the three of us had conversation around “WHY did this happen me?” I believe we ask this question because we are believers that everything happens for a reason… And when something so huge, so life altering, so life threatening happens it shakes the insignificant layers down to our ankles and we are left with our bare boned truth and one solitary question, “Why?” And so the seeking begins…for the answer….but it is a real Life Quest…searching for clues…it takes patience (which we have very little of most of the time without practice and discipline), it takes awareness, consciousness, openness, and surrender. It takes raw courage to climb down into the dark crevices of self’s soul and tear off the scabs that hide the real pain… When are we ever ready for this Life Quest? Never…until we are.

“You cannot answer these questions. You are too fragmented as yet to know what you are. We all are. If you do not think you are shattered, then you do not yet know even the most basic thing about your human condition. When finally you see yourself break, which may not become evident to you without great loss, only then have you begun to see what has happened to you in your sleep. This is the first hint to the true purpose of your journey.”
by Alison Nappi http://www.rebellesociety.com/2013/08/15/5-signs-youre-on-the-heros-journey/

We love you Wendy, you are not alone.


  1. holly says

    Hi Wendy, what a great photo of you with Andrea and Monica. As usual, Andrea’s words speak volumes, and they also made me ponder on some possible captions for that photo. 3 Strong women, 3 Beautiful souls, True friends, and so many more! But mainly I want to thank you for the feelings you brought up in me as I was able to witness your bravery, selflessness, strength and love for others through Monica’s posts. You are a hero, and I will keep you in my heart and mind as I pray for a speedy recovery. Love Holly TRP

  2. Wendy says

    I can’t believe that I’m just now seeing this for the first time! Yet it has such meaning even now, almost nine months later. That is me in the picture. That is me who was asking Why? And I’m still asking Why? I have been home for months now. I have gone from a wheelchair to walking on my own and driving my car. I take care of my family to the best of my ability. I do laundry. I grocery shop. I cook sometimes. I clean. I volunteer at school. I attend my boys sports games. I try to do it all as I did before. But guess what? I can’t. And it sucks! My family and the life we once knew is gone. And here I lay nine months later, still in fragments – not physical but mental – still asking why and still wondering my purpose. Andrea – thank you for writing this and Monica, thank you for being there.