Category Archives: Inspiration

A Bigger Game, Lions, and More.

We laughed, we cried, it was beautiful.

However, that would be an understatement to describe this past weekend’s experience at Lake George where over One hundred and fifty like-minded people,  gathered for the very first Bigger Game Expo.

Beautiful Lake George at the Silver Bay YMCA

Beautiful Lake George at the Silver Bay YMCA

Play a Bigger Game was conceived by thought leader Rick Tamlyn, and is a workshop experience for those who want to get their “life game” on.  This past weekend- he, and his ridonkulously talented team, showcased “ordinary” people who have a commitment to being extraordinary people.   They gave presentations, talks and discussions about their life’s work, career, dreams, creations, and what it took to get where they are at today, and the result was.

“Wow”.

The best part about it was the transparency that each speaker offered to us as they took us down the non-linear, and often times, messy, challenging, and obstacle laden path of making something amazing happen.

lakegeorgesun

I have to admit- I’ve done a lot of leadership, professional, and personal development in my life so you’d think i’d have a level of comfort with it.  I have a love/hate relationship with my propensity toward personal growth because it’s like gearing up for an inner shake-up.  When I sign myself up for something that calls me to be “bigger” in my own life, I simultaneously prepare myself for eminent danger.  Lets face it, –  I’m happy, I’m healthy, I’ve got projects I am working on, and kids to parent, and more than enough to keep myself busy and alternately content and happy … and yet, my spiritual yearning is always for MORE.

“More what?”  you might ask.

More everything- connection, joy,  inspiration, love, passion, community, income, and you name it- more more more.  I guess that makes me a more whore,  hmmm….

Each opportunity I seize to sign myself up, and participate in something as fabulous as this past weekend I also throw myself out of my familiar, and comfortable zone.  I learned so much about myself and others this weekeend, and I am so grateful to those that made it all happen –  it truly was game changing.

I can’t help but notice with a bit of humor-  how my approach to doing a workshop like this one is similar to how I might approach a lioness protecting a gaggle of hungry cubs…

It’s like my sub-conscious says:

“WHY would you EVER, do that”???!

Wary, uncommitted, closed off, all senses on alert, and ready to RUN like hell, I prepare myself for a growth experience- lol.  The only difference between a personal development/ leadership workshop, or approaching a lioness protecting a litter of cubs is, well, virtually nothing, so I guess I’ll continue to just to drive this silly analogy right off the cliff  by saying that I feel the same sense of panic and fear in the face of letting go of my ego, and stretching myself out of my comfort zone as If I actually had a real life lion circling me like antelope prey (profound insight, Monica, profound.)

How absurd is it that I would sign myself up for something I spend energy protecting myself from experiencing!?

Then there is the actual moment of letting go- one minute I’ve got it all handled, backing slowly from the fear, knowing I might narrowly escape notice- “oh look, nice little fluffy lion, a bird!” and about to launch my exit strategy, and the next second I am Zena or Jenga, or whatever Jungle goddness I become, and  I reach down into the depths of my own belly to find my very own roar to charge toward the threat lest it consume me… and somehow we merge to cancel each other out, and I realize I’ve managed to survive the whole ordeal without fatal injury.

While moments before I may have been fiercely protecting myself, the next is like a suicide surrender and I allow myself to be consumed by it.  It’s a strange and wonderful thing, but I’m starting to get that this paradox is where personal transformation lives.

So, what I got from The Bigger Game this past weekend is not “it” or “better”, or “the holy grail” or an arrival at some final “destination” … but simply more. More of the journey, more of the joy, more of the inspiration and insight that life has to offer with all of these miraculous people that walk this planet by my side.

I am more open, more touched, more inspired, and more capable than I was on Thursday.

I’m more grateful for all I have in my life, and all of those who allow my life to touch theirs.

Our big celebration "dress up" night at THE BIGGER GAME EXPO

Me, Andrea, Hea Sook, & Annabel at the big celebration “dress up” night at THE BIGGER GAME EXPO

Life. IS. Good.

Thanks to everyone who attended, presented, and who dare to play a bigger game- you all make this a BIG life game worth playing.

All my love, and proud to be a more whore,

Monica

Emotional Bill of Rights

Have you ever been with someone who consistently  criticized, judged, lied, made you feel tense, sad, tired, or was unpredictable or explosive?

These are all forms of abuse, and unfortunately the most insidious and damaging because the damage is usually accumulated over time- done slowly, systematically, and often behind closed doors where no one else can see. It does not have any prejudice - as both male and female are equal victims in it’s clutches.

It’s no less harmful than being physically abused, and yet so many people have no idea that there is a name for their experience.  It’s called emotional abuse.

If you have ever been in an abusive situation then you’ve known what it’s been like to have your inner compass broken.

If it’s broken, it just kind of sits there ….spinning- unable to lead you home to yourself, or in a direction that feels like a “true north”.

When first born,  we come into the world with this shiny new unbroken thing – usually it resides somewhere right around the solar plexus.  It’s really like a big satellite that informs your being of it’s emotional response to things.  It’s how you learn to adapt to your environment, fine tune your radar in situations of danger, learn to relax and unwind and ultimately where you learn to regulate your emotional response to different situations.

bill of rights

Except…

Lots of kids are born into situations that are stressful or dangerous from day one, so unfortunately- their compass gets broken pretty quickly and they are left to navigate their situation like some really screwy GPS system that leads you into the middle of NOWHERE.   This can easily happen to an adult as well, who may have had a perfectly healthy upbringing, but who has been the victim of an abusive friend or partner over time.

Understanding ones rights can be a helpful place to start in understanding how to identify harmful behavior when it’s happening- even if it comes wrapped in something that initially looks really shiny and attractive.

Your Emotional Bill of Rights: 

We have the right to clear communication

We have a right to ask for the support we need.
We should not have to suffer injustice to get what we need.
Our needs are valid and important.

We have the right to take risks and start new adventures.
We have the right to fail, and learn from our mistakes without being shamed or criticized.

We have the right to good will, enrichment, joy, strong, positive connections, warmth, honesty, understanding, respect, rapport and concern for our well being.

We have a right to our bodies, to embrace physical self care, nutrition, exercise, relaxation.

We have a right to express our opinions, ideas and emotions. It’s all right to have our own view of the world.

We have a right to plenty of rest and sleep. Whatever problems we may be experiencing can wait until morning.

We have the right to free ourselves of guilt and shame that doesn’t belong to us, and to give back to our abusers what belongs to them.

We have both a right and a reason to be here. We are children of the universe, no less than the earth and the trees. We have the right to take up space and the right to just be without having to apologize.

We have the right to be out in the world, to explore, to relax, to play, to experiment, to be taken care of and to stand up for ourselves.

We have the right to our curiosity and intuition.

It’s our right to push and test to find limits, to say no and be separate.

We have a right to think for ourselves.

We have a right to think about our feelings and have feelings about our thoughts.

We have the right to be angry when our rights are violated. We have a right to let people know when we feel angry. We can be angry at people we love.

It’s our right to test our power.

It’s our right to take time to explore who we are.

It’s our right to make mistakes.

We have a right to our own morals and methods, and a right to do things our own way, or the way of others, or the way of the group as we choose.

We have a right to choose to be independent, interdependent or dependent. We don’t have to give up our independence to be taken care of.

We have a right to back out of any social, sexual, or work related contact if we feel uncomfortable, even if we initiated it.

We have the right take care of ourselves under any circumstances.

It’s our right to make choices beyond mere survival.

We have a right to say no to anything that we are not ready for or that feels unsafe.

It’s our right to terminate conversations with people who make us feel put down and humiliated.

It’s our right to be self protective, even selfish and set limits as we choose.

We have the right to share our stories, to share our triumphs and vent our pain.

We have a right to divorce ourselves from all abusive relationships and surround ourselves with loving, trustworthy people.

We have the right to reclaim our lives as our own.

by

Obsessive Spring and Beauty Everywhere

I think it’s spring,  right?

I mean… it’s cold out, but I’m feelin it, so I hope you are too.

Lately, I’m feeling beauty everywhere and feeling very ‘at home” in my body.

Lots of things to say- but mostly, that I’ve been remiss in blogging based on the fact that I’ve been very “absorbed” with some house projects! When I get my mind on something I have single-focusitis. I have been known to border “obsessed” when I get an idea. ( I know all my friends and loved ones are right this moment saying… nooooo! not you! – shut it people!)

Most of my time the past few weeks has been spent bringing new clients on board for my social media business: Revelation Media ( no web page yet) and getting their preliminary research and strategies together.

I’ve also been updating my house with new furnishings, and decor- which has been an amazing guilty pleasure!

I feel like so much of my adult life was spent inside the mentality of scarcity. Scarcity is a scary and anxiety producing place i’ve decided.  Always worrying about the “what ifs” and feeling pinched about spending $, and where the next paycheck will come from.  I love to shop, but I have to say- I’ve become extremely resourceful these last ten years and have collected my wardrobe and belongings via consignment stores, Marshalls, TJ’s and all that good stuff.   When the Goodbar and I moved into the Hobbit House we waited till now before we started to “invest” in pieces that we both really liked, and that also make sense for how we live.  It’s been about eighteen months now, and recently a decision to recover an innocent little window seat area set me on a path of resurrection around my love of decorating, and so… suffice it to say… I’ve been sweating all things decor while face-lifting home with newer furnishings while getting rid of pieces that have “gotten me by” – YAY!  Buh-bye!

I’ve splurged a bit, and had to talk myself though a few larger purchases with the help of some friends, but the rest i’ve gotten with the proceeds of sales from the old stuff, and I’ve paired old with new in more creative ways-  I can’t wait to show you!

This Sunday, Apartment Therapy is coming to shoot the house… I swear it’s coincidental- and a very pleasant surprise.
I’ll let you know how it goes and I will be sure to share the feature when it comes out.

I have lots to catch you up on, but till I can sit down again I just wanted to say HI! and let you know I’m still alive, and SO excited for this TRP season.  It’s going to be AMAZING.

If you’ve not yet checked out our latest album, I’d like to introduce you to a very special woman whose photographs barely begin to show the depth of her beauty.

Holly Parmenter

Holly Parmenter

Check it out here and be sure to “like” and share our page with other women ( or men!) you think might like to “join the revelation”.

XOXOOXOXOX

 

 

Gaze at the Truth.

whyte

Self Portrait

It doesn’t interest me if there is one God

or many gods.

I want to know if you belong or feel

abandoned.

If you know despair or can see it in others.

I want to know

if you are prepared to live in the world

with its harsh need

to change you. If you can look back

with firm eyes

saying this is where I stand. I want to know

if you know

how to melt into that fierce heat of living

falling toward

the center of your longing. I want to know

if you are willing

to live, day by day, with the consequence of love

and the bitter

unwanted passion of your sure defeat.

I have heard, in that fierce embrace, even

the gods speak of God.  - David Whyte

When I first read this poem, years ago… I read it again and again.  It was so beautiful to me.   It addressed the paradox of  life I could not put words to at the time.

I was discovering, that to fully live was to surrender to love over and over again even though the law of impermanence reigns, no matter what. 

That to love life and all of it’s glory, you must gaze at the truth of immortality and loss.

Paradox:

Life = death.

Some say that in order to really live you have to die a thousand tiny deaths.

The project… each time I witness the power of another’s “becoming”, as the team documents the death of her illusions of self through the lens is truly one of the most beautiful life-giving things I have ever witnessed.

TRP is not a photo shoot.  It is an exercise about gazing into the eyes of truth, and letting truth stare back at you. It’s about showing you how to:

“melt into that fierce heat of living falling toward the center of your longing.”

It’s about

“looking back with firm eyes” and knowing where you stand, and knowing the “consequence” of loving yourself and others.

What does that mean- consequence?  What a strange word he should use.

It’s perfect.

Yes… to love and fully live has it’s consequences- doesn’t it

Surely then you can no longer protect your vulnerable heart-  because to love is to lose, to belly laugh with joy is to weep with sadness, to live is to die.

We cannot escape any of it.

So you might as well LIVE, and know the truth.

Stick it where the SUN SHINES!!

I don’t know what a Sunshine Award is, but not being one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I gratefully accept on behalf of my team members and on behalf of the women who have contributed their voices and photographs to reveal themselves, and empower others.  While I still have the stage- don’t forget to subscribe to our blog and consider following us on Facebook and Twitter ( see side bar). Muah!

I was nominated by a recent follower to the TRP blog who is also a blogger. She is a writer, a poet, and an activist who is also using her voice on her blog called Transcending Boarders, to make a difference in the lives of others. Based on her posts, her insights, and her obvious courage  I can tell that she has a tender, and deeply loving heart.  I am honored Tazein. Thank you.

sunshine blogger award

1) Make sure to post this award on your blog site.

2) Nominate 10 fellow bloggers

3) Please answer 10 questions.

What inspired you to start blogging?

Since I was little I’ve been filling journals, doodling, word-smithing, painting, drawing, and creating.  I’ve always been a student of  ”social” studies- as in, an observer of life, and how people interact.  I love seeking to understand, and I am most inspired by truth and goodness. I figure that the most powerful thing we have is our word- and when you give your word to something, you have the ability to make an impact and “show up” to someones life in a powerful way.  Blogging is like this for me, and the social web seemed a natural fit. I am happiest when my writing makes a difference in someones life- it is at the very essence of who I am.

How did you come up with the name of your blog?

TRP or, The Revelation Project is a project about looking, digging, revealing, and sharing, and although this project is still a virtual baby- I’ve learned so much. I’ve learned that in order for anything, or anyone to be seen, and explored, it first must be revealed.

I chose to study women in particular, because I know, that women have the power to shift the state of the world.  In order for this to happen, they must feel worthy of being seen, and worthy of being heard.

Women are powerful, and deep, and smart.  The feminine energy is about healing, nurturing, intuition, and creativity.  You give me any woman who has “done the work” and a roomful of people and she can almost immediately tell you what’s really going on. I think women are the answer to the question of how we are going to remedy what continues to ail the world.  We need to rise to our places- because we are being called now-  It’s time to  heal the anger, conflict, loneliness, and pain that undermines all beauty and love in the world, and if this is to happen, then women must reveal themselves.

The more we can touch others with this project, the more we can reveal the solutions, and heal the pain. Each woman who goes through the project goes through what I call an inside-out exchange. She has to go in, in order to fully come out; and she has to first step in, to step up and take her place. What she is able to reveal, heals- which then empowers her to stand in her own greatness- and gives her the opportunity to inspire others to do the same.


scare

What is your favorite blog to read?

My favorite blog to read is called Momastery. I can so relate to Glennon Melton because she has this passion inside her to make a difference, and she just keeps putting it out there no matter what. She’s relatable, funny, and intelligent, and in many ways- embodies the power and greatness I believe women gain when they do the project. Her voice is clear, and yet she gives herself permission to be imperfect, and vulnerable. She takes a stand to be seen and to have others be seen, and she does this because she knows the value of giving, and that she will be taken care of in the process.

Just this week she took a stand for a struggling single mother, and by inviting her audience to see the possibilities for this woman, she was able to raise $240,000 in eight hours.  Thats freaking CRAZY greatness right there! and this aspect of her – and the power of her voice and her ability to move others? – I’m in awe (thank you Roo for turning me onto her!)

Tell me about your dream job?
I’m doing it.

I finally understand that I can make money, and develop my career ( social media, blogging)  in the background as I continue to be in service to the something greater that calls me forward.  Although I do not earn a steady paycheck, I’m clear that I’m employed by the universe, and that the money will come as needed.

Is your glass half full or half empty?

I’m a go big or go home kind of a girl so it’s never half-way it’s either full or empty.
I can’t say it’s always full because I’m human, however, it takes a lot to take me down.  If its empty… it looks like bed for months on end and thoughts of dying (only happened once 4.5 years ago) and when it’s full which is all the rest of the time… I usually can’t wait to show up to my life each morning and see what the day has in store for me.

What food can you absolutely not eat?

Really?  Um, liver? Sweet Breads? Yuck.

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

Skittles.

Where would you go for a dream vacation?

Asia or India; someplace really gritty and beautiful and alive- with my Camera.  I’d would want to document the city or center and interview people, and take amazing photographs, and then write about it and share it with my audience.

How much time do you spend blogging?

Lately?  Almost every hour of the work day unless I am working with clients on their own brand development, or hanging with my kids. My biggest “revelation” is that I’ve had ADHD my whole life, and now, I’ve started taking a medicine to help me focus, and for the first time in my life I can “linger” on a thought without having to rush to get it down before I forget it.  It’s greatly enhanced my capacity for writing, and I am amazed looking back that I was able to write at all, given the difference I feel since taking the medicine!

Do you watch T.V. , if so, what are some of your favorite shows?

Meh.  You know, not really.
Every so often I will get into something but it has to be sooo good.  I really enjoyed Breaking Bad through Netflix (love Jesse. – bitch! ) or I love to watch documentaries or period films.  The Goodbar (my boyfriend) has turned me on to a few shows I’ll catch every so often like: Bones, Body of Evidence, Criminal Minds. My next adventure is checking out all the buzz about Downton Abbey.

You’ve asked me to nominate TEN (TEN!?) other blogs I love or find inspiring, so I’ll do my best but gonna start with five because I have to jump on a call soon, so I will add a “part two” later.  I do have blogs I really love, and that inspire me.  I particularly love the ones that offer humor or perspective.  I chose a couple here that are just fun to check out now and then, and I chose some relatively new bloggers who I think might really appreciate the exposure.

DRUMROLL PLEASE:

1.  Ask Dr. Mama : My friend Kim came to me about a year ago to get some help to create a new brand logo and get some clarity around where she wanted to focus.  I was amazed by her passion and her dedication and have been able to witness her “making it happen”.  She just needed a little push- and now, she’s saving peoples lives with her health insights and recommendations.  I highly recommend following her because you just never know when you’ll need her.

2. Erin Goodman: Builder of Community, Weaver of Dreams, Teacher of Peace…. I mean… what’s not to love? Erin has really been rockin it these past two years, and has gone on to build programs, and workshops that speak to her audience and serve her community.  As an Interfaith Minister, Erin has a deep spiritual reservoir, all while bringin it to motherhood, marriage, all things real.  Check her out- you won’t be sorry.

3.  Some Species Eat Their Young: Chase likely does not need any help from me on the exposure front, but recently I read that he’d taken a blogging break and a few months later… he was back. You should have seen the out pouring of comments of his readers welcoming him back.  Clearly his voice, perspective, and humor were missed.  His posts make me crack- up. often.  Generally I just like how he keeps parenting real, and accessible.  Less than perfect is always a place I can call home, and if you want to be included- look him up.

4.  A Flood of Hope: Girl crush! (oops, now she knows) I’ve only been able to sit and talk to Alix a few times, and every so often our shoulders brush.  She’s just wicked smart, and I have always had this urge to just get in her head, and curl up with her brain for a while.  The way she thinks fascinates me. She’s raw, honest, compassionate, and creative. Her writing makes me think, and sometimes- even makes me want to cheer. YAY!

5. Stumbling Toward Certainty:  Ok- this guy? If you ever thought you knew a good poem when you read one- then check his out, and I bet, I just bet- that you will be transported to a place that the english language just can’t capture very often.  Jim Grady is my brother… but that’s not why I like his poetry.  His writing, and perspective brings me to tears often, and mostly because I know his struggle inside, and he invites me in to see this beautiful vulnerable part of him through his work, and his words have the power to touch his readers deeply.   I want everyone I know to follow his progress as he continues to dare to bare his soul through his poetry.  I love this Man- he’s a beautiful gift, with an astonishing spirit.

When I post Part Two-  I’ll include the other five… until then, please try to occupy yourselves in some fashion. I’ll be sure to link back to this post as a continuation, but if you MUST continue to linger in wait  please consider commenting- or sharing this blog with everyone who can read.

Oh, and comment wise- I’d love to know about your favorite blogs, and why you follow them! XOXOXO

Congrats to all of the nominated blogs- written by amazing people who show up every day to say something! YAY!

Have a great day!

by

Start a Girl; End a Woman

Give yourself a little treat and watch this.  What a trip.

Makers: Women who make America- Narrated By Merrill Streep

Makers Documentary

Say Something.

You already have permission

Just saying.

You have permission to create, to speak up, and stand up.

You have permission to be generous, to fail, and to be vulnerable.

You have permission to own your words, to matter and to help.

No need to wait.   – Seth Godin

the voice

This was Seth’s blog post today.  Just this; just this simple.

This made me think about why so many of us just sit, and don’t stand, stay quiet and don’t speak, only take on the tasks we know we can accomplish, and are adverse to risk, adverse to failure, and are always wanting to attach ourselves to people we think “matter”, as if they are somehow more deserving than we are; more worthy.

When is the last time you stood up and said something?

Gave yourself permission to do something?

Do you remember how it felt?

Did you feel exhilarated?

Liberated?

I hope you’ll let me know what it was, and how it made you feel in the comments below. 

by

Forcing the Outcome is not TRP

“A waiting person is a patient person. The word patience means the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”

― Henri J.M. Nouwen

I love this quote because it holds personal meaning for me…”the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out…” 

I’m remembering so many moments in my life when confusion and agitation would overwhelm me wondering why a certain situation was happening in which I felt powerless, and even angry for not being able to make sense of it.

The agitation was the “unwillingness” as I fought against the tide, swimming against the current to get to the shore when there was no shore even in sight.

I lived this way for years and years, without the “willingness to stay….” and just be with, whatever was happening.   It took years for me to cultivate a “trusting” that the events of life make sense either immediately, overtime, or never,  but that if they are to be known by me at all, that they will eventually reveal themselves.

“…the full belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us.”

This full belief is

FAITH

TRUST

WISDOM

and unlike what I used to believe in my narrow minded view of what life was all about; wisdom is not the “knowing” of what it all means, but instead the understanding and acceptance that the knowing will come, in time.

When things happen in my life now…. I trust (mostly) that all will be revealed, in time. I accept that my role in the situation is to simply “stay”… not in a hanging, dwelling, preoccupied way… but in a loving, patient, observing way- sometimes just in the allowing it to be a mystery until it otherwise informs me…  which could mean, days, months, years, or never, but what difference will it make for me to try to force the understanding, and to close myself down in anger and hostility? This would be foolish.

As human beings I believe now, that our thoughts are of divine origin, and come, not generated inside of it’s own engine, encased in our heads- but from the divine source who has given us life, and access to the mysteries of life, so that we can experience love and all of it’s expressions more fully, more deeply, and more powerfully.  The thoughts that come into our minds are simply an offering for us to explore, more openly, that which the the source is gifting.

We all have access to the day to day insights that wait for us to declare them, just as we do the larger mysteries that call to our hearts and desire us to know them.   To know them is to exercise that unused muscle of looking within oneself, and to explore the situations that give our lives meaning, and to share those revelations with others.  Sharing with each other, and being vulnerable, and intimate with each other about the emotions and situations that REALLY matter, and allowing these situations to really develop each of us into a whole-hearted person.

If we deeply desire to understand and know the meaning behind the mysteries of our lives, or the purpose of our existence, then we must stay at each and every opportunity, and be patient for those revelations to manifest.

In doing this,  your own Revelation Project has begun- no?

Henri

by

I Was Blind; Now I See

prince

Life whirs by my little eye-windows at a break neck pace, and it’s blurry edges are barely discernable.  Sometimes by the time i go to bed, i don’t even have the strength to review the day because it’s speed and force was too much, too powerful, too….fast.

How can I really be with any of it, when it’s all happening so fast?

Who am I serving at this pace? This pace that has me accelerate beyond my means of even seeing, feeling, or really experiencing that which is before me.

Shall i say I’d really been there, or done that?

Whizzing past, or checking it off the list does not equal my being there; experiencing it.

Yesterday I had a migraine (in my eye) so great, that it made me sit, be very quiet, and  still.  I lay with my eyes covered by some heavenly weighted pillow filled with lavender, and I could do nothing but be with the love and care that surrounded me.

My children in whispering hushes, with their thoughtful touches to my head, and the Goodbar’s presence as he sat with me in the darkened room. Jacks little head on my thigh as his puppy sighs told me he was there for me, and all of the ways in which the sounds of the evening surrounded me in comfort.

As the fire gave it’s heat, and quietly hissed and popped It was revealed, and  I could see exactly what it is that has been missing. My true presence has been missing from my day’s lately, and like so many I know who struggle with taking too much on, or going to fast, it’s caught up with me and nailed me down so that I could take a look.   It’s put it’s heavy, loving hand on me, and taken my sight, in order so that I might sit awhile, and see. 

Life is amazing this way.