Category Archives: Uncategorized

Revelation: How To Give Good Head

Now that I have your attention …ahem.

I was always resistant to mediation… let me re-phrase….

I was always resistant to s-l-o-w-i-n-g down.  I’ve realized now- especially in the last year that my wisdom comes from the quiet moments I allow myself in mediation- even if it IS still difficult for me to slow down…

If even just for 15 minutes- finding the quiet can shift my entire day from hectic to peaceful, harried to intentional, chaotic to calm. It grounds me, gets my “head” in the right place, and relaxes my body – getting myself INTO my own body….

In order to really “give” yourself to others, you have to first create the “space” for yourself….

Give yourself good head…space…. first.

You Can’t Un-Ring A Bell

Written Collaboratively By Kim Fuller and Monica Rodgers 

The editorial process of The Revelation Project is so fascinating… we see so many sides of each participant as she is “revealed” throughout the shoot.

As beings -we have so many aspects of our personality: our expressions, our physical structures the nuances in how we carry ourselves. Each one of us is totally unique…

In some photographs toward the beginning we are first shown that expression she has “programmed”  - that forward face we all have on auto-pilot that we show to the world; our neighbors, friends, teachers, –  our “everyday look.”

As the shoot progresses and space and time unfold we start to see the honesty of her spirit come through.. a pure laugh that comes bubbling to the surface…maybe she’s feeling the joy of the moment… we see the fleeting expressions…another might be:  “ oh crap, what am I doing here right now?!” (that one is pretty common!)

Then as the “unfolding” continues the grace of her inner beauty comes quietly; and we are present to the serene look that comes when she finds that quiet place within her soul and she allows herself to be present… show up- exactly how she is.  This is the part of the shoot and the process that is most magical.. she begins to allow whatever comes next.. and next… and next… until she no longer hesitates in her movements, her expressions, her freedom.

The tight bud blooms into the flower –   open in all of it’s glory as if its high season has finally arrived.   Our team who has waited patiently as the process unfolds is there as witness. You can’t un-ring a bell. 

As we review each image taken we get to relive her “birth” selecting a variety of women she houses inside herself.  The layers she allowed to surface that day… some she may have never known existed.  This process makes us realize how complex and multifaceted each of us is, and that the “ego” or self image we carry can be quite confining until it’s isolated, identified, and documented.  In this process we are free of it… if only temporarily.  The true and beautiful self we each posses lies in wait…. ready to be documented as well.. until, with full permission, her essence is revealed, and miraculously – once achieved – can be accessed and available as a “new possibility” of being in the world forever more.

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Revelation: Reflective Thinking….

Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world. What you see reflects your thinking. And your thinking but reflects your choice of what you want to see. – A Course in Miracles

How often to we look at life from the perspective of “if only it were not so” instead of seeing the beauty and the perfection in exactly as it is?

I fall in love with this project again and again because it is designed to be perfect in it’s imperfection… just like us. It’s designed simply to be a mirror into our “selves” – even the parts and pieces of ourselves we reject,  or do not want to see, claim or own.

It’s designed to bring the emotion /apathy/ self critique / self loathing/ self acceptance to the surface of the water so that just like  a fisherman with a net – one could scoop up the emotion or non-emotion in a net and look at it more closely… examine it,.. decide what to take home with you for food, and which ones to cut loose and set free that won’t serve you.

The Revelation Project is not about the photographs.  It’s about the willingness to to look.  Look at yourself , your life,  and how you live. It’s about seeing your image from a different perspective, a new vantage, It’s about getting that it’s not even about you.

It’s about allowing…..

allowing all of it…

The…..

Discomfort

Joy

Outrage

Laughter

Mystery

Righteousness

Self Indulgence

Bliss

Hope

Integrity

Restoration

Re-birth….

If you come looking for an image of yourself that you can fall in love with,  then come….

you may find however, that the image you wish to perceive is only visible if you alter your perception.

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Where’d You Hide The Body?

How many times have we killed ourselves throughout our own precious lives?

Killed our own spirit by shaming ourselves, berating ourselves, denying ourselves?

I once was very ill.  I’m sure it was a combination of ingredients that made for the perfect storm…  i was so sick, and tried everything to heal… anti-depressants, sleep aids, therapy, fresh air, better food, and then; acupuncture, massage, exercise, chakra clearing, yoga, … finally I was asked a question that gave me the “revelation” i needed to begin my real journey to wellness and the question was this:

“Do you speak to your loved ones as harshly as you speak to yourself?”

I sat there, dumbfounded.

“uh, … no… i would n-e-v-e-r……”

and he replied

“Than why do you speak that way to yourself? – You are making yourself ill, and if you continue- you will eventually kill yourself…. do you want that? “

I had to admit although I’d contemplated that one way, coach class ticket out of misery I really just wanted to be well again, be happy.

Happy.

Oh what did happiness feel like? I couldn’t remember.

So I tuned in to the voice that I’d lived with my whole life and when I caught myself I realized that I was abusing myself. The abuse was harsh, cruel, and unusual punishment for a woman who’d honestly done her best… had the best intentions, made mistakes sure- who doesn’t…  ?

I started to wonder as I listened- like as If I were simply an observer suddenly to my own life…  ”wow, listen to how i speak to myself… treat myself… i wonder why i do that? ” and of course I had to realize that making myself wrong yet again for the way I was speaking to myself would only perpetuate the problem.  I set out to change it but first I had to invite a third party in ….

It was at that time- I met my kind, wise, patient, forgiving, and higher self.

My way of changing this deeply ingrained habit was to literally “live” with the three aspects of me.

My doing self; My judging self; and my loving self.

When I would do something.. my judging self would kick in… and my indicator was that I had a feeling in my chest, or my shoulders were tense,  I was not relaxed, I avoided eye contact, deflected complements from others…

My doing self’s job was simple: just notice, and invite my loving self to come…

She began in a forceful manner wanting to kick some ass

“lay off her!” she’d yell to my judging self…

“she’s doing the best she can!” and then more gently over time… “great work Monica – she would say…” or “you look nice today!” or “today is perfect the way it is…” or “you are allowed to make mistakes, ease up.”

My judging self battled her for a while.. resisted being led by someone more powerful… but as great leaders do- she was able to have cooperation and co-creation from my judging self over time with patience, and practice.

If you’ve killed yourself and are feeling dead inside I have one question for you….

Where’d you hide the body?

Turn yourself in. It’s the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself and for others.  Life is for the living.

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TRP and the Discovery of ME. Summer Camp for Women 2012

When we step outside our known place, that cozy place inside ourselves – are we really as alone and exposed as we think we are?  Do dangers really lurk in the dark corners where discovery beckons us?  Are there truly monsters in our closet? under our bed? or like frightened children who dare not leave that sqeaking frame to pee lest they wake the beast beneath, are we afraid that our ankles might be caught by the drooling hairy grasp of the unknown?

Our grown up selves know better, but sometimes need a gentle reminder -the only boogie man in the closet is someone glorious… if only we dare to look.  That someone is YOU.

There is just: THIS ONE LIFE to live, and JUST THIS ONE MOMENT to be….and now might be the time to set her free.

I think we underestimate the power that the unknown has to transform and move us. When is the last time you pushed the edge and made a decision to really put yourself out there? or take a risk?  When is the last time you took a chance on life? Took a chance on YOU?

When is the last time you genuinely felt the”edge” where that fine line had the power  to transform your experience and your life and did?The power to make your heart beat- where you felt exhilarated and alive? Has it been a while?  Maybe it’s time….

Do we “dare” ourselves often enough, or at all?

When is the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone and signed yourself into something without an escape plan? Calling in sick or fat, or tired, a rip cord, a rain check….  ”Maybe some other time….”

That “practical” thinking will suck the marrow from your very bones as another minute, hour, day, week, month, year flies by….and your practical life ends … un- realized.

Was it that hip hop class you always wanted to take? Painting at the ocean’s bluffs?  Taking a solo trip to Martha’s Vineyard with no plan –   just a camera and a pocketful of chance?

When is the last time you planned an experience just for you?  How bout a road trip to see old friends with every song you’ve ever loved on your ipod so you can rock out with the windows down and feel the wind through your hair as you drive down Highway 61 heading toward Oz. Maybe there’s a yellow brick road in this for you after all.

When is the last time you dared to believe, dared to trust, dared to chance?

When is the last time to dared to let life shake your soul?  or say “Sorry” no more?

We hope you’ll join us for CAMP TRP this summer happening August 16-19th in Kennebunk Maine.

If for some reason you have something fabulous already planned for yourself like a hot air balloon ride over Paris or wasting away again in Margaritaville than I’ll just expect to see you another time… maybe next year? (and I completely and totally understand) But if things should shift?

I’d love to dance together, belly laugh, witness you, or howl at the moon as we discover a deeper place inside ourselves we never thought we ever wanted to know.

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The Pin Up

“As early as 1869, women have been supporters and protestors of the pin-up. Women supporters of early pin-up content considered these to be a “positive post-Victorian rejection of bodily shame and a healthy respect for female beauty.”[13] On the contrary, women protesters argued that these images were corrupting societal morality and saw these public sexual displays of women as lowering the standards of womanhood, destroying their dignity and harmful to both women and young adolescence.” - Wikipedia

Oh, well this explains a bit, as well as completely confounds me.

So.. a few “revelations”…and questions…  (please feel free to add your own)

1)  The distance between 1869 and 2012 is exactly 143 years. ( One Hundred and Forty Three Years!)

2) It’s kind of amazing that we still face the same issues today “rejection of bodily shame and healthy respect for the female body” (!!!)

3) I wonder what kind of “social morality” we were corrupting at that time?… at that time – women were still considered the “property” of their families, fathers, husbands, ….

4) “These images were corrupting social morality… ” ? (can you believe how long it took to finally end up with absolutely zero?)

5) Now that we have a morally bankrupt society I’m thinking there is no where to go but UP…

6) Lets revisit this whole pin- up thing and re-write history:

“As early as 2011, women have been avid supporters of the pin-up, and of witnessing and celebrating every aspect of femininity. Women supporters of pin-up content consider these to be positive affirmations of each individual woman’s unique beauty, and radient life. Without shame, these women gladly share their own personal experience and stories with each other as a way to foster healthy respect for female beauty;  body, mind and spirit.” Women everywhere are re-claiming themselves and their souls (from media) by capturing their  images in ways that empower them and telling their stories to each other in order to publicize the multifaceted, unshakable, complex, and brilliant spirit of womanhood and memorialize the facts: One can not destroy the dignity of a Woman who has experienced her own power (period) thereby making it highly unlikely that you  could wither or destroy the growing identity of any adolescent female who’s lives are touched by her foremothers  ” - The Revelation Project

What else would one do on a Friday night but study the history and the origin of the “Pin Up”? – sure, I’ve been known to be a complete buzz kill on a perfectly good weekend but look at this photo! “Pin – Up” material! Wait! Is that good or bad? …

GOOD!!

Within each of us (women) is the spirit of the great goddess.  We want to be honored… we want to be SEEN. We’d like to be celebrated and appreciated and, well… pinned up.  Thanks to Pinterest, now every woman can be a pin up.  Thanks to more access to this “conversation” women have the opportunity to re-rite, re-wright, and re-right their own narrative about how they’d like to be seen and treated. Why are you placing so much emphasis on my exterior? Don’t you know that my beauty radiates from a place that can not be pinned up or down? Am i talking out loud?

Pin me up if you dare with DIGNITY, HONOR, &  RESPECT.

Please, don’t USE ME to sell a product.  I don’t NEED your big brand (or big anything)  to give me VALUE.

I’m NOT for SALE. I’m not to be used, toyed with, owned, controlled, or subjugated.

I am beautiful.

I am Unique.

I am free.

I am ME.

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The Revelation Project 2012: Brenda Langlais

The morning of Brenda’s shoot I was feeling particularly anxious.  I’d been going through lots of changes, and was feeling cranky and kind of vulnerable.  The anticipation of meeting a new participant can be somewhat overwhelming at times because I want to make sure I am completely present and accounted for in addition to working in tandem with Kim and Terry Lee to make sure everything is going to run smoothly. Set design, make-up, hair, wardrobe, and the grounding ritual and meditation we try to do before every photo shoot.  I met Brenda at the top of the stairs and she smiled and introduced herself and my anxiety just kind of melted away.  She seemed so settled inside it must have been contagious.  She told me about her family and her life while we were doing make-up. She told me about her daughters and family, about growing up and the many challenges she had faced throughout her life.  She told me she loves to make people feel comfortable and happy.  By the time she left I realized she’d given us all a new way to perceive ourselves.  Our body- just a shell.  Inside we are absolutely anything we choose to be.  Brenda is courageous, bold, beautiful.  Brenda is comfortable in her skin and accepting of anyone else’s.  Brenda is the embodiment of self acceptance and love.  We love you Brenda.

TRP: Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Brenda: I’m just a girl, who loves big, lives big, is big! Thank goodness I finally figured that out!

 TRP: What are the biggest challenge’s that have faced you as a woman?

Brenda: One of my biggest challenges has been being a “woman of size”, as they put it these days. Most of my life I was very physical, most people made assumptions that I wasn’t and then carried those assumptions further. It made me spend way too much time worrying about how to prove myself worthy to people, to the point where I questioned my own self worth. But in the end, I believe it made me a better person. It made me care more about others and their feelings and perceptions. It made me want to help. It made me more understanding of everyone’s differences. It made me a better mother.

 TRP: What are some of the issues that you think are important to explore as it relates to being female?

Brenda: This one is hard for me, except for the first question above; I’ve answered all the others before this one. I’ve lived a very “masculine” life for a female. While my dad always voiced female stereotypes that I should emulate, be a “Be a teacher, so you will have summers off with your children.” “Lose weight so you will be attractive, and get a husband.” His actions were anything but. He taught me how to build and repair things, he taught me how to maintain and repair my cars. He taught me how to manage money and plan for a future. Not going to college was not an option. I spent much of my youth at his side and learned my lessons well.

I was fairly successful as a single female in a male industry. I fit in with my male counterparts, my dad had taught me well. Then I met a man, got married and had my girls. That man was content to stay home summers with our girls, and do the groceries… Unfortunately, the jobs that I had been doing, that challenged me and allowed me to travel were no longer being offered to me. The raises were fewer and farther in-between. I swallowed my pride and stayed, I had a family to support, and I didn’t have to courage to stand up for myself. That was a lesson I was never taught.

I have put in 30 years now and I can go. And I will, and I have, with the help and support of the women in my life, found my strength and courage. My new business will involve helping people. In my free time I will continue my volunteer efforts. When it is my time to leave this world, I will know that I have done good, I have felt good, and I have had a good life.

So maybe I didn’t answer the question directly…but I hope you got my messages.

TRP: What frightens you?

Brenda: Not finishing…

 TRP: What is your “Life Mission?”

Brenda: To find the “good”… in people, in situations, in life, in the world around me…. I hope to never stop looking.

 TRP: How do you keep yourself inspired by life?

Brenda: I often find the “good”! and celebrate it.

 TRP: Is there anything in particular that made you feel like being part of the Revelation Project was a good idea right now?

Brenda: I first saw the pictures… I could feel the love… I had had no professional picture taking experience of myself where I felt that the person on the other side of the camera cared to see beyond the lens. I wanted to feel that.

Also, I am about to take a big leap, into retirement and hopefully into a successful new career, this opportunity, of putting myself in front of a camera, not usually a comfortable place for me seemed to be a logical step to say, “Here I am, gotta love me! I do!”

About the shoot:

TRP: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting? 

Brenda: Nervous, was I going to see that judgmental “fat lady” look in anyone’s eyes? I scoured the pictures, not a “fat lady” in the group.And then when I couldn’t find the shoot, oh no, I was hoaxed. Then I calmed down, let my mental resources take over and figured out how to find my way to the house.  When I got there I was hoping to find the same love & humor & kindredness (so I make up new words every now and then) & joy that I saw in the other ladies photos.

But really, I had been reading Monica’s blog, so it was more the old pre-conditioned fears rising up than any real fear & trepidation.

TRP: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process? 

Brenda: I think the ladies would attest that it didn’t take very long for me to release myself into their hands. I think I felt like a bride feels on their wedding day, when they are surrounded by the ladies in their lives who care about them and want this day to be the day when they feel the most beautiful and cherished. I didn’t get that on my wedding day, didn’t know I had missed it until I just started to answer this question. So I guess I was made to feel immediately beautiful and cherished! Wheeeee

 TRP: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot

Brenda: Ready, able, willing.

 TRP: Three words for after

Brenda: Happy, proud, devilish.

 TRP: Three words for when you saw the results

Beautiful, happy, excited.

TRP: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home? 

Brenda: I couldn’t wait to share the experience with my friends. I left to meet a dear friend for lunch, an older woman who has become a mother/grandmother figure in the lives of my daughters and my life. She has lived most of her life as a single mom, a teacher and an ACTIVE DEMOCRAT. I couldn’t wait to share with her, I knew she would understand what had just happened to me in a way that my own mother never could.

I also thought of my girls, and my hopes and dreams for their lives as women.

 TRP: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression? 

Brenda: Oh so pretty!

 TRP: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs? 

Brenda: It was all from women, mostly the women whom I count as my friends, it was all positive. The most meaningful were the comments about how they captured the me that they see.

 TRP: What are some words you would use to describe how those comments made you feel?

Brenda: Successful, happy, humble, content that the person I try to be showed up in the persona captured in those pictures.

 TRP: Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

Brenda: I’m not sure; I’m a very introspective person, so I’m always thinking about myself, my family, my friends & people around me and how the whole big puzzle of humanity works, so I’ve trodded down lots of mental paths…

 TRP: Did you feel empowered?

Brenda: Definitely! Something happened shortly after the shoot, a negative decision was made that was specifically about me and my size. In the past I would have shrugged it off, this time I choose to fight, not because it will affect the outcome for me, because it won’t, but because it could for others like me.

TRP: Since the shoot happened a few months ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

Brenda: As I mentioned earlier, I’m about to make a big change in my life, I will be leaving my secure financial situation, into a world where me and my family’s security s will be as a result of my hard work, and the person I have become. Here’s my new logo!

TRP: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

Brenda: Yes, it was a kick in the pants, get out of your comfort zone, kind of thing. It’s where I need to be now to move ahead with my life. I put myself out there, nothing scary happened, I’m ready to try the next step!

TRP: Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why? 

Brenda: YES! And I’ve been telling all my friends. It’s not always easy to explain why, mostly I tell them about why I did it, and I tell them to start with reading Monica’s blogs and the other Revelation Ladies interviews, that’s what I did before I signed up, and knew that I needed some of their wisdom, they took me down new paths of exploring myself and who can’t benefit from that?

TRP: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts? 

Brenda: So far I have been content to have my favorite as my FB picture. That one, to me, reflects in my eyes my “badgirlness” which I try to temper with intelligence and thoughtfulness.

TRP: What is your favorite song and why?

Brenda: Ooooh, these kinds of questions are always ones I hate to answer…”What is your favorite…” The world is too big & too varied for me to pick… I have songs & artists that touch me for so many different reasons I could never decide. Maybe it goes back to my credo, “Find the good”. It’s everywhere, music, people, art, movies…I just let it move me.

TRP: Why do you think this project is important?

Brenda: Ah, another question about “The Good”. At its core, I believe it’s about women taking time for feeling good about themselves. The women who are The Revelation Project, Monica, Terri Lee & Kim, who enable us to feel good about ourselves, the women who have participated in The Project, empowering other women to experience it for themselves, and lastly, for all the women who see our results of The Project and give us positive reinforcement that fuel us to continue on our paths.

TRP: If you could sum up the experience what would you say? 

Brenda: To steal another very popular slogan….Just Do It!

To find out more about The Revelation Project please visit our facebook page and don’t forget to “like” us, and if you’d like to participate please email me at rodgers107@me.com

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Wild Woman

 

Wild Woman
She lives within me
this heathen of long ago-
bare feet tramping the lush forest floor of my mind
eyes darting, ever aware
as she hunts, gathers, communes-
her tree gods all around.

She breathes within
hearing nature’s call
in the sweetness of the night air
the heady scent of the bush park
and the cockatoos in the trees
just up the road
from my tarmac and tile life.

And every now and then
this wild child
who longs for her village
her clean earth
her crystal streams-
is set free.

Upon a wave she rides
or amongst the scattered leaves, sits
in a moonlit moment
or tends the soil with her bare hands
solitary
bless-ed
loving the earth and its comfort
more than her own life.

The wild memories of long ago
the rituals and spirit songs
often spill free upon her voice
and clumsy guitar accompaniment,
or during a yogic moment,
or upon a dance-floor
in ecstatic release.

She is real
this wild woman-
she walks amongst us all
and she reminds us of the places
that we need to be-
of the places
that we need to treasure.

Above all, she reminds us
to be free.

- By Jennifer Cooper

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TIME: "Are You Mom Enough?".....what????

Reblogged from Mommy OM:

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Blogger Jamie Lynne Grumet is on the cover of TIME magazine this week nursing her three-year-old son.  The cover is bold.  It came out this morning and Facebook and Twitter and every and all major media outlets are overflowing with comments.  Some positive, some negative, and some downright awful and offensive.

The article in this issue is about parenting guru Dr.

Read more… 291 more words

GRRRR.
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10 Ways to Enjoy Life More Right Now

 

If you can’t change a problem, move on.Thou shall not stew.

Stop getting stuck in your story about woulda. coulda. shoulda. and get on with doing what you love to do.

Surround yourself with loving, low-maintenance people who increase your vitality instead of rob it.

Remember that aging is part of the wondrous cycle of life. It is normal and it is what is suppose to happen, just like getting our baby teeth.

Take care of that pesky task that has been hanging over your head for way too long. It won’t take nearly as long as you think it will.

Have an orgasm.

Did I just say that?

Stop worrying about what other people think. It’s your life.

Don’t forget that human’s greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Acknowledge someone.

Get over your fear. Fear is normal, so embrace it and then you’ll get past it.

Take care of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. Be your own best friend. It is the foundation for a good long life.

Photo by Jef Bettens, Limburg, Belgium

By Louise of Lines of Beauty.