Tag Archives: betrayal

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God Calling

A very good friend sent me this passage this morning in my time of need.  Yes THANK YOU… In this I hear God calling… and what ever “God” means to you- can we all not relate to something larger than ourselves?  The passage below calls me to rise to the occasion because with out it- I am small, and dark.

I need to be reminded to choose gratitude and that having shoes with which to walk is far more worth my attention than occasional pebble that finds it’s way into my step.  The most difficult things to let go of are the events that have happened in the past and those who were involved I feel have wronged me.

Betrayal is for me, the very very worst possible hurt that I can feel.  That “feeling” drives me to dark places where I think thoughts of revenge, unkindness, even brutality- and yet thank GOD, thank you God when that feeling passes ( as it always does) and the dark is over taken by the light again.  Let it pass like a Summer thunder storm. Please just get me through the storm so I can feel the light on my shoulders again and shine forth spreading the light to others.  This is where I belong. Not, in the darkness- feeling small and afraid.

Underneath all emotions are the very base ones from which all others stem

LOVE

or

FEAR

I choose love again today.  I need the reminder sometimes that love is where the light comes in.  Thank you dear friend for the reminder today.

God Calling:

Regret nothing. Not even the sins and failures.  When a man views earth’s wonders from some mountain height he does not spend his time in dwelling on the stones and stumbles, the faints and failures, that marked his upward path.

So with you.  Breathe in the rich blessings of each new day – forget all that lies behind you.

Man is so made that he can carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more.  Directly he weighs down with the years behind, and the days ahead, his back breaks.  I have promised to help you with the burden of today only, the past I have taken from you and if you, foolish hearts, choose to gather again that burden and bear it, then, indeed, you mock Me to expect Me to share it.

For weal or woe each day is ended.  What remains to be lived, the coming twenty-four hours, you must face as you awake.

A man on a march on earth carries only what he needs for that march.  Would you pity him if you saw him bearing too the overwhelming weight of the worn-out shoes and uniforms of past marches and years?  And yet, in the mental and spiritual life, man does these things.  Small wonder My poor world is heartsick and weary.

Not so must you act.

Right. I have a choice.  It’s a choice. It’s a choice. It’s a choice.

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The Seven Stages of Grief

Weather it’s death, or a death of sorts (break-up, betrayal, divorce, employment termination…) it hurts like hell and can take a long long time to heal.

I was recently re-reading the seven stages of grief, and realizing how very long a process it is to go through the seven stages.  It can take weeks, months, years, and for some – even a lifetime.

It’s not a process that can be rushed along.  It’s as unique a journey as the individual taking the journey. We all have a “time” in which we will process each phase of certain events.  I’ve known people to be in one aspect of grief for many years… before finally reaching the next.  The most valuable thing you can do for yourself or another who is experiencing it is to just give them/ yourself room – lots of room, and and endless well of compassion.

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The Seven Stages of Grief

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-

You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

2. PAIN & GUILT-

As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-

Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)

4. “DEPRESSION”, REFLECTION, LONELINESS-

Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-

As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-

As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-

During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But instead will find a way forward with a deeper sense of wisdom.