Tag Archives: Robyn Ivy

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The Revelation Project Part XI: Meredith Armstrong

One of the most amazing things for me about The Revelation Project is the transformation that takes place from the time a woman walks in our door, to the time she leaves (and I’m not just talking about the way she looks.)  I find myself getting nervous right before the shoot about my own abilities to successfully do her hair, make-up and make her feel comfortable and when Meredith Armstrong came in it was no different.  I was astonished to learn that Meredith came to us on her actual birthday, and that she’d given herself the project as the way she wished to bring in her 37th year- wow. As I sat with her doing her hair I got to learn more about her life, and the people and places that are important to her.  I was astonished by her open-ness- and she seemed really anxious and excited to participate in the shoot- more so than most and I wondered why… what did she want to see? When i finally allowed her to stand up and look at herself she welled up with happy tears…. “oh, wow- I look so pretty!” she exclaimed.  I had to remind her that we’d have to redo make-up if she continued to cry and so I kind of dragged her away from her image and turned up the music.  Shooting Meredith was like being allowed inside of someone’s soul.  Her every emotion rushed across the plains of her beautiful face like the passing of clouds on a summer day in the big sky of Montana. This was a woman who will dive deeply with her heart into the waters of life but who wanted to be finished with the drowning and treading…. she wanted to be baptized and reborn…. and so she was.

The Interview

TRP: What did Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

MA: I am a 37-seven year old single woman, and I work at Trader Joes.  I am a compassionate human being, avid indoor gardener, cat petter, art admirer, bug saver (not squasher) and Bee lover.  I have an open heart and cry easily.

TRP: What is the biggest challenge that’s ever faced you as a woman?

MA: My life was progressing as I always thought it would:  college, world travel, serious relationship that led to marriage, thoughts of home ownership, and a baby.  In my mid thirties, everything changed and I found myself back at square one.  My biggest challenge is to find the direction that  I want to go in, but now as a single parent with a child to raise.

TRP: Are you a mom?

MA: Yes, to the most incredible four-year old boy, who is my sunshine.

TRP: What are some of the issues that you think are important to explore as it relates to our gender?

MA: There is an image of perfection that many women feel they need to measure up to and feel less worthy if they can’t meet that unrealistic image.  Women will sometimes judge each other on surface issues based on what they see rather than what they know, leading to isolation rather than being supportive of each other.

TRP: What’s your idea of a great “girls night?”

MA: Any gathering of women with no children in tow, and a great glass of wine.

TRP: Is there anything in particular that made you feel like being part of the Revelation Project was a good idea right now?

MA: After viewing photos of the first few women in the project, I could see the joy and happiness that was brought out from the women in their pictures.  I needed help finding that joy and happiness within myself that has been buried for a good long while.

About the shoot:

TRP: What did you you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

MA: I was extremely excited about what I would find inside of me, but being the center of attention terrified me.   I was hoping that I would be able to see the same light inside of me as I had seen in the other women.

TRP: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

MA: Initially I was unable to relax.  The utter acceptance and non-judgmental support I received from Robyn and Monica, along with their hilarious banter and down to earth approach allowed me to completely open up to the experience.

TRP: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot

MA:  Nervous, excited, anticipatory.

TRP: Three words for after

MA:  Joy, acceptance, anticipatory

TRP: Three words for when you saw the results

MA: Insight, happiness, completion

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TRP: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

MA: I felt worthy of the attention and love that I received and a strong sense of connection to women as equals.  I could hardly wait to see the results.

TRP: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

MA: I saw that there was still a lot of happiness inside of me.  I realized that I am not a size two, that I have developed wrinkles, that I have a much wider smile than I knew.  And I felt beautiful that I am not a size two, that I have developed wrinkles, and that I have a much wider smile than I knew!

TRP: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

MA: A good friend said, “Now you can see yourself as I see you”.  Another said it was nice to see me smiling so much.  There were also a lot of compliments and praise for the beauty of the photos.

TRP: What are some words you would use to describe how you were feeling throughout the shoot?

MA: It was a cathartic experience that allowed deep emotion to come to the surface.  I felt comfortable in my own skin, accepting myself just as I was internally and externally.

TRP: Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

MA: That I am not alone; I am not abnormal; I am not a “messed up person” for the challenges that I have faced in my life.  I realize that I like myself and I have the right to what I need and want.

TRP: Did you feel empowered? Why?  Why not?

MA:  I know that I am good enough today, right now.

TRP: Since the shoot happened can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

MA: The insight I have gained about myself has not left me.  What I realize is the importance of connecting with other women.

TRP: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

MA: This was am important experience for me because without it, I don’t know how I would have discovered these revelations on my own.

TRP: Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why?

MA: This is an incredibly important way for all women to empower themselves, accept themselves and find their own beauty, inside and out.

TRP: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

MA: They will be used possibly as gifts, but mostly as reminders of my own self worth.

TRP: What is your favorite song and why?

MA: Lately, It’s the  “Thank U” by Alannis Morrisette, now I know why

TRP: If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

MA: ***Awesome***

TRP: If someone were on the fence about doing it is there anything you would tell them about the experience or say to encourage them?

MA: I would totally tell them to do it because we all need to be reminded how beautiful we are, how strong we are, how worthy we are and that we are perfect exactly as we are. This experience illuminates these things and allows you to see this same light in the women around you.

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The Revelation Project Part X: Medelise Reifsteck

When she walked in to be photographed for THE REVELATION PROJECT she carried a surf board under her arm like a seasoned professional (I don’t even think I can actually physically lift a surf board).  Medelise gave me a smile with her kind brown eyes, and in an instant I had the feeling that I was meeting a woman who had been through some stuff in this lifetime, and like she’d have some stories to tell. It seems I was accurate about that.  I loved photographing Medelise- because she was intensely connected to something I could not quite put my finger on… until her story began. Then, I got it.
She’s intensely connected to LIFE, and REALLY LIVING IT.

TRP: Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Medelise:  I have to start with my name…I am named after my mother, grandmother and great, great grandmother. My daughter is the fifth Medelise. I am proud and honored to be in a long line of amazingly strong and beautiful women.

A bit about me…aah my nickname in college was “the pleasure seeker”(having nothing to do with sex, mind you) I was the ultimate tomboy, thrill seeker and slightly unusual girl who could beat most boys at anything. I still carry that to this day…would much rather be playing Frisbee out in the back yard at a party than talking gossip or cooking in the kitchen…as much as I have grown to love talking in the kitchen. My passions and hobbies include skiing, surfing and mountain biking mixed with butterflies, reading, connecting with people and long solo walks on the beach. I hit my stride in my forties and finally started following my heart and pursuing my dreams. Along the way I became very ill, having to rebuild my physical and emotional strength over a period of two and a half years. I lost my entire colon in 2009 to a killer bacteria infection after fighting the infection for over six weeks in the hospital. This resulted in four major abdominal surgeries in that time period, developing a serious portal vein thrombosis (blood clot in the liver) after my third surgery that threatened my recovery and culminated with an emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction just 7 short months after my last reconstructive surgery. I was just beginning to regain my vitality and mental strength prior to the obstruction. It was devastating to me on a very personal level. Emotionally and physically it was such a setback … I was finally beginning to have faith in my body again. It took a toll on my marriage, my children and my own sense of well being! Looking back, I now feel that in many ways it was a gift to me, the whole experience…sounds funny I am sure.

I have been healthy the last 9 months(knock on wood) and am currently one of the founders and operators of the Garden of Wings Butterfly Pavilion at The Farmer’s Daughter in Wakefield. I also teach skiing at Burke Mountain in Vermont and will begin teaching surf lessons here in Narragansett this summer.

TRP: What is the biggest challenge that’s ever faced you as a woman?

Medelise: Without a doubt the biggest challenge I have faced as a woman is marriage and motherhood…it is incredibly hard not to loss a part of yourself in both of those endeavors. No one ever really told us as women how hard it was going to be. Even though I love both my spouse and my children I do not always like being a wife and a mother! I have a different view on marriage, love and family than many and sometimes my inner being and in not always in sync with the norm. This has created problems for me. My ability to be honest with who I am in recent years has allowed growth within my relationships that some individuals never achieve.

TRP: Are you a mom?

Medelise: see biggest challenge question!!! Meddie 18 and Nolan 15…I am blessed with two incredible, fun, thrill seeking and lovable kids.

TRP: What are some of the issues that you think are important to explore as it relates to our gender?

Medelise: Where does one begin…authenticity, societal pressures and standards, freedom and independence within the context of family and marriage, expectations, emotional strengths and liabilities…the list goes on from here in many directions.

TRP: What’s your idea of a great “girls night?”

Definitely an evening that involves a little bit of talking, dancing, laughing(sometimes crying), drinking and eating…but not necessarily in that order!

TRP: Is there anything in particular that made you feel like being part of the Revelation Project was a good idea right now?

I think that I was at a point where I really needed to embrace my regained strength after being sick for so long. It felt like it needed to be something really tangible for me. I wanted to see it with my eyes not necessarily just know it with my heart…or maybe seeing it so I could feel it more deeply in my heart and remind myself whenever doubt creeps in. It was important for me to have my surf board be a part of the shoot. Surfing and getting back into the water, especially for the year I had the illeostomy saved me. I had refused to have my life taken from me or the things I loved to do be threatened because of my illness or the illeostomy.

About the shoot:

TRP: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

Medelise: To be honest with you I just kind of jumped into it without thinking too much about it other than what I stated earlier. I was really clueless as to what it would actually be like.

TRP: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

Medelise: I loved watching and feeling the chemistry between Robyn and Monica. I had issues with relaxing especially with my mouth…so we had a bit of fun with that…some of my favorite photos came from it. The music was great and after awhile I felt I had as much control over what the shoot would be as Monica and Robyn did…and that was sort of nice and unexpected.

TRP: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot?

Medelise: Nervous, excited and clueless

TRP: Three words for after

Medelise: energized, myself and clueless

TRP: Three words for when you saw the results

Medelise: awe, belief and love

TRP: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience? What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

Medelise: I was so late to an appointment after the shoot that I did not really have much time to think at all right after. But for several days I held my breath in anticipation.

TRP: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

Medelise: WOW and TEARS
I was never afraid that I wouldn’t like my pictures but I was not prepared for how moved I would be by them.

TRP: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

Medelise: It is mostly woman who comment…they love them and feel that the photos really caught an essence of me.
I like that!

TRP: What are some words you would use to describe how you were feeling throughout the shoot?

Medelise: It is funny I think I was a bit focused on the logistics and maybe a bit tuned out to how I was feeling emotionally. I was having fun and for me that was what it was about at the moment…having fun with me!

TRP: Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

Medelise: I have certainly learned a lot about myself since the shoot via the results and going over the pictures from time to time. They give me strength. I have learned that I do need reassurance at times (don’t we all?) I had such post traumatic stress after my first surgery which still lingers a bit under certain circumstances. I need to know that I am ok and everything is going to be ok. Somehow looking through those pictures helps me to regain balance a little bit. Interestingly, it is me looking at me that guides me back.

TRP: Did you feel empowered? Why? Why not?

Medelise: Absolutely…me taking charge!  Participating in The Revelation Project was one decision I made that was just for ME.

TRP: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

Medelise: Yes…we all need to do something for ourselves from time to time. Even if it is just for the pure fun!

TRP: Do you think it’s relevant for other women? Why?

Medelise: I think it can be relevant for other women but I think that it would be relevant for them in an entirely different ways than it was for me. We each bring something different when we show up at the door.

TRP: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

Medelise: That will yet to be seen and discovered…beyond what I have already said.

TRP: What is your favorite song and why?

Medelise: What a Wonderful World by Louie Armstrong. It has been my favorite song for as long as I can remember. It moved me when it was used in Good Morning Vietnam movie. I always remember that scene of the troops moving out in the light of a beautiful dawn. It is a song about gratitude and life and all it can be if we are open and aware!

TRP: If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

Medelise: It was a genuine bucket list experience…and I hate that expression.

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The Revelation Project Part IX: MJ Yeager Rudd

The Revelation Project: Living with Grief

Photo Credit TRP

MJ Yeager Rudd is a remarkable woman. Like all of the women we’ve been honored to photograph I continue to marvel at the powerful impact of this project.  I never dreamed that the original afternoon of the project’s accidental conception(as Robyn and I played around with our camera’s intent to capture each other on film in our own silly way) that it would lead to such a revelationary journey that had the power to touch women so very deeply and unexpectedly, and that it would further unify them in what I believe has become an incredibly powerful and important conversation.  Who are we?

My initial experience of MJ was that she seemed…. well, kind of detached.  This particular photo shoot struck me (as a photographer) in a different way than the other women I’d photographed so far.  Not knowing anything of her story or not having previously collected her interview I wondered and worried if we would “get” anything for her through the process. I worried extensively that out of all the women we’ve worked with, that somehow the project just was not resonating with her, and we’d failed her. Little did I know.

She sent in her interview just the other night as an excerpt and insight into her her life and how The Revelation Project has impacted her.  I thought this interview was incredibly vulnerable, and honest. I wanted to share it with her permission on Parentables because I wondered if her story of courage might impact others as much as it did me…..

READ THE INTERVIEW BY CLICKING HERE:

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Revelation: Operations System of Being

Ok- all this damn revelations are making my head hurt!
Here’s the latest. You know how you’ve heard a quote over and over again and you think you understand it but finally it makes sense? Here’s the quote:

“The longest distance to travel is from your head to your heart”
Well DUH.
DUH.
DUH.
DUH.

Robyn gave me homework last week and it was “take a vacation from THINKING and instead FEEL” (oh, ha, never mind the rant I started in my head about “how easy for you to say” and “I’m sick of your Yoda, patience grasshopper bullsh*t” and ” I have things I have to get done, and someone’s gotta worry about the bills, and …and…and…)

Patience Grasshopper

Can I tell you how CRABBY that made me? It messed with my whole “operations system” of being ( ok- that description right there should tell you something). It was like she hexed me because then i could not do anything properly! I had writers block, was unable to really communicate openly or honestly, and just FELT (like) crap ALL WEEK LONG.

I FELT:

CRABBY
INSECURE
SCARED
INTIMIDATED
OUT OF CONTROL
ANXIOUS
UPSET
UNPRODUCTIVE

etc etc etc….
and then aha! I realized that I was COMPLETELY in my head about what she had told me to do, and that it was my THINKING that was dictating my feeling INSTEAD OF… my feeling dictating my THINKING!!! I have had it all backwards!

My biggest problem since well before my divorce was the NUMBNESS i felt. I had curated an amazing array of protective mechanisms that were the drunk persons equivalent of BLACKING OUT.

I have been going through the deep THAW – pulling my heart out of the deep freeze…. holy shit, I think we’ve got a pulse!
learning to untangle and rewire the system of my inner world.
Learning how to FEEL again, and to let THAT be my guide vs. thinking my way through things.

Once I understood that my access to breathing was my friend I started to understand ( another revelation?) that this is why the Yogic spiritual practice is all based in the breath as the foundation with which to BUILD your inner world, and your relationship to SELF.
OOOOOOH! (boy do I feel like a dummy!- ooops! there goes my head again!)

Ok- now I’m like the lawnmower that’s been unused all winter long and I’ve somehow managed to pull that starter cord from hearing just a hint of a rumble to finally a real hard TUG (like a defibrillator!)
VVVVRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOM! and away we go!

(Can anyone relate to this or am i just visiting crazy-town?)

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The Revelation Project Part VIII: Meredith Armstrong

Every woman that walks through the front door for the Revelation Project presents a new challenge and kicks in a spot of anxiety for me at the beginning.  Each brings her own combination of anticipation, expectation, hope, and excitement along with a lifetime of experiences that have made her uniquely her.   When Meredith walked in my usual pre-shoot anxiety went into overdrive because she was so clearly uncomfortable at first and out of her element, however,  I also felt the clearest and purest desire coming form her that seemed to say:  ”HEY, I”M READY!”   In addition the pressure went deeper as it was Meredith’s birthday, and she had given herself the gift of The Revelation Project *sniff*

The challenge of photographing each individual woman is that Robyn and I do not always know *who* is walking through the door (although Meredith and Robyn were friends in high school!) or what they are carrying inside so part of the sesssion is about the un-veiling and revealing of them to US,  and then part is about revealing themselves to THEMSELVES ( isn’t that cool?)

Meredith’s body language communicated that she was taking a great risk by coming to share herself with us and be willing to look at herself anew.   But she was also clearly up for the challenge, and welcomed a fresh perspective.  Meredith’s shoot validated for me that the more a woman seeks transformation the more she can be transformed. She did not in any way look or project the same woman who had walked in at the beginning.  It was March so “In like a lion and out like a lamb”,… yeah, that was Meredith. Happy Birthday Girl!

Here is her interview:

TRP: Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Meredith: I am a 37-seven year old single woman.  I am a compassionate human being, avid indoor gardener, cat petter, art admirer, and bug saver (not squisher).  I have an open heart and cry easily.

TRP: Are you a mom?

Meredith: Yes, to the most incredible four-year old boy, who is my sunshine.

TRP: What is the biggest challenge that’s ever faced you as a woman?

Meredith: My life was progressing as I always thought it would:  college, world travel, serious relationship that led to marriage, thoughts of home ownership, and a baby.  In my mid thirties, everything changed and I found myself back at square one.  My biggest challenge is to find the direction that I want to go in, but now as a single parent with a child to raise.

TRP: What are some of the issues that you think are important to explore as it relates to our gender?

Meredith: There is an image of perfection that many women feel they need to measure up to and feel less worthy if they can’t meet that unrealistic image.  Women will sometimes judge each other on surface issues based on what they see rather than what they know, leading to isolation rather than being supportive of each other.

TRP: What’s your idea of a great “girls night?”

Meredith: Any gathering of women with no children in tow, and a great glass of wine.

TRP: Is there anything in particular that made you feel like being part of the Revelation Project was a good idea right now?

Meredith: After viewing photos of the first few women in the project, I could see the joy and happiness that was brought out from the women in their pictures.  I needed help finding that joy and happiness within myself that has been buried for a good long while.

TRP: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

Meredith: I was extremely excited about what I would find inside of me, but being the center of attention terrified me.   I was hoping that I would be able to see the same light inside of me as I had seen in the other women.

TRP: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

Meredith: Initially I was unable to relax.  The utter acceptance and non-judgmental support I received from Robyn and Monica, along with their hilarious banter and down to earth approach allowed me to completely open up to the experience.

TRP: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot

Meredith: Nervous, excited, anticipatory.

TRP: Three words for after

Meredith: Joy, acceptance, anticipatory

TRP: Three words for when you saw the results

Meredith: Insight, happiness, completion

TRP: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

Meredith: I felt worthy of the attention and love that I received and a strong sense of connection to women as equals.  I could hardly wait to see the results.

TRP: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

Meredith: I saw that there was still a lot of happiness inside of me.  I realized that I am not a size two, that I have developed wrinkles, that I have a much wider smile than I knew.  And I felt beautiful that I am not a size two, that I have developed wrinkles, and that I have a much wider smile than I knew!

TRP: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

Meredith: A good friend said, “Now you can see yourself as I see you”. Another said it was nice to see me smiling so much.  There were also a lot of compliments and praise for the beautiful photos.

TRP:  What are some words you would use to describe how you were feeling throughout the shoot?

Meredith: It was a cathartic experience that allowed deep emotion to come to the surface.  I felt comfortable in my own skin, accepting myself just as I was internally and externally.

TRP: Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

Meredith: I am not alone; I am not abnormal; I am not a “messed up person” for the challenges that I have faced in my life.  I realize that I like myself and I have the right to what I need and want.

TRP: Did you feel empowered? Why?  Why not?

Meredith: Yes.  I know that I am good enough today, right now.

TRP: Since the shoot happened almost four weeks ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

Meredith: The insight I have gained about myself has not left me.  What I realize is the importance of connecting with other women.

TRP: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

Meredith: This was am important experience for me because without it, I don’t know how I would have discovered these revelations on my own.

TRP: Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why?

Meredith:  This is an incredibly important way for all women to empower themselves, accept themselves and find their own beauty, inside and out.

TRP: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

Meredith: They will be used possibly as gifts, but mostly as reminders of my own self worth.

TRP: What is your favorite song and why?

Meredith: Lately, “Thank U” by Alannis Morrisette, now I know why…

TRP: If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

Meredith: Awesome.

TRP: If someone were on the fence about doing it is there anything you would tell them about the experience or say to encourage them?

Meredith: I would totally tell them to do it because we all need to be reminded how beautiful we are, how strong we are, how worthy we are and that we are perfect exactly as we are. This experience illuminates these things and allows you to see this same light in the women around you.

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The Revelation Project Part VII: Meaghan O’Neill

first met Meg a few years ago through her sister who was working with me as I was pitching venture capital companies for a bright idea I had about saving the world. I had this amazing business coach who was directing me on how to build a board of advisors, and I wanted Meg to be one of them.  From the start Meg was “game” – and that’s how I’ve tended to look at her.  It would not surprise me if she played varsity sports all four years and was considered MVP or if she was named “most likely to be a team player” in her high school year book.  Hell- I would not surprise me if she graduated valedictorian of her class.  That’s kind of what I mean… I don’t actually know these things about her… it just would not surprise me at all.  She’s just comes off as “Meg” – what you see is what you get and what you get is someone who’s on your team in a huge way- and who comes across as likable and non threatening.  When you learn that she’s got all this amazing experience, know how and respect with absolutely no arrogance you think… how does she DO THAT?  I mean.  My head would be so huge it might literally pop off my body.  Not Meg. Meg is Meg is Meg.  I’m thinking that when women are really taken seriously as a presidential candidate that we might consider Meg.  Yeah, Meg for U.S. President.

Would you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Hi, my name is Meg; I live in Newport, RI with my husband and son.
I’m a writer and editor, and I work for Parentables 
http://parentables.howstuffworks.com/
 , a parenting website, and TreeHugger 
http://www.treehugger.com
, a blog dedicated to environmental news and culture.

What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

I had seen the outcome of a few prior shoots, so I was really excited to partake. But I tried not to psyche myself out by pretending it was “no big deal.” Luckily, my computer also melted down on the morning of the shoot, so I had a good distraction from my vanity (read: insecurity).

How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

Monica and Robyn are really approachable and down-to-earth, so that made me feel like I was on equal terms with them – and their cameras. And there wasn’t a big fuss about hair, make-up, and wardrobe, so there wasn’t this intimidating this is a big dealfactor. It felt more like hanging out with friends.

Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot?
Giddy, giggly, anxious.

3 words for after

New. Best. Friends.

Three words for when you saw the results
Hey, that’s me!

After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience? What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

I felt like I had just been out clubbing all night with my good friends. Like we had really lived it up for a while – grabbed the bull by the horns.

When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?
Me: “I am outrageously laughing in every single picture. I should really take myself more seriously!”

Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

Mom: “That doesn’t even look like you! When did you hair get so curly?”

Husband: “These are beautiful.”

What are some words you would use to describe how you were feeling throughout the shoot?

What the hell is my “sultry” look? (I need to work on that.)

Did you learn anything new about yourself from the experience?

I confirmed that I laugh and act goofy when I’m nervous. But I think I also conquered a little bit more of fear about being in the center of attention.

Did you feel empowered? Why? Why not?
Yes. Even if you’re not the kind of person who craves it, it’s pretty cool to know that someone is spending the time and energy to put you in the spotlight, and to know that you can be in control of it and that it’s okay to let yourself shine.

Since the shoot happened almost four weeks ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

For me this was probably, above all, a confidence building exercise. I don’t think I’m a weak person and I’m not unhappy with where I am in life, but I certainly have obstacles that I want to overcome and plenty of character flaws… Participating in the Revelation Project gave me a chance to reassess where I am and where I want to be and, ultimately, to ask myself not only “Where the hell do you think you’re headed?” but also “How do you want to get there?” That’s powerful stuff.

Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

For sure. I’m always up for a challenge, and for me, putting myself in front of a camera for two hours isn’t easy. So facing that fear was part of the experience – but a good part.

Do you think it’s relevant for other women? Why?
Absolutely. Participating in the Revelation Project isn’t just about getting your portrait taken. It’s an opportunity to reflect on who you’ve been, what you’ve become, and where you want to go. And if  you pay attention, you might even capture a glimpse of your own pure awesomeness.

How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

I’ve already used them professionally 
http://parentables.howstuffworks.com/author/meaghan-oneill
 , and I might use them personally. I’m not sure if I’m quite to the point of hanging large-scale photos of myself on the wall yet, but we’ll see.

If you could sum up the experience what would you say?
It was fun, exhilarating, and totally worth it. Also, when I first looked at the photos I thought, “Yeah, these are decent.” Then I went to choose a headshot and realized that I couldn’t decide which one I liked best. That’s a really nice feeling.

Can you recommend a great song or album you think other women who have donethis project might like?

I’m sort of in a Chrissie Hynde state of mind right now – she’s cool, confident, passionate, uniquely talented, and she hangs tough in a guys’ world without losing her femininity. Oh, and she’s like, approaching 60 and still totally rocking and gorgeous. That’s who I want to be.

What is the most challenging thing you have faced as a woman?

The hardest thing about being a woman in our generation is that we have so much choice, but at the same time so many expectations. We’ve benefited enormously from the women before us that worked their asses off to break through the glass ceiling. You can be a mom, a daughter, a wife, a boss, an employee. But there’s a lot of pressure — both self- and society-imposed — to do all of these things well all at the same time.

I think sometimes we forget to check in and see if we’re hitting the right balance — and to say no to something if we’re not. A wise woman once told me, ”You can have it all; you just can’t have it all at the same time.” This is a woman, who, at different times in her life, has been a professional ballerina, an artist, and a stay-at-home mom, then became an M.D. in her fifties. I try to remember to live by those words. Cutting yourself is a break is some pretty good medicine.

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The Revelation Project Part V: Tammi Silver

Tami Silver had so much fun at the photo shoot, her enthusiasm was infectious.  Dancing, singing, and laughing pretty much sums up the shoot and we got some great candid’s that just captured her joy, and her appreciation of the moment. There is just something to be said for all that attention – I’m pretty sure it’s akin to watering a plant that’ *parched*.

Having now photographed several women, I am always so moved by how each and every woman has her own unique essence that just comes out in the photographs.  ”She” ( any woman)  can show up here any number of ways: shy, quiet, nervous, anxious, excited, spastic, etc and no matter what…. settle into herself and “get it done” – I simply marvel at all of us… I really do. We are just an AMAZING species!  Tami Silver- My favorite thing about you is your smile. It’s like a cardiac defibrillator… bang! .

The following questions were posed and the following was Tami’s response ( PS: We’ve changed up the questions in the nextinterview to keep it fresh :)

MR: What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot (before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

TS: I was really nervous-I have never been comfortable in front of the camera-I can be laughing and having fun, then someone takes out a camera and I instantly feel self-conscious and my smile feels fake and wooden.  I rarely like photos of myself-I can probably count on one hand the number of photos I like of myself-and they are mostly baby pictures.  I know Robyn well and I knew she would make it fun-but I did not expect to like the photos-I was prepared to be embarrassed, uncomfortable and disappointed.


MR: How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process?

TS: The moment I got to there I felt relaxed-Robyn and Monica are such real individuals; it made me feel at ease.  Monica sat me down and put make up on me (I rarely wear makeup)-she had such a gentle touch-it was so relaxing and it was fun to be the center of attention, I felt very pampered.  You can really feel the great report, friendship and professional working relationship between Robyn and Monica; they made me feel like I was a part of something special, they were there to get me in my best light-they made wonderful suggestions for what to wear, ways to position myself-and they played great music, that really loosened me up.


MR: Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot?

TS: Pretty. Darn. Nervous.

MR: Three words for after?

TS: Ready for anything

MR: Three words for when you saw the results

TS: Is that me?


MR: After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

TS: I needed to leave to go to an appointment and I was bummed-I wanted to stay-I was having so much fun-I felt like a rock star.  The time flew by-I never felt judged by Robyn or Monica-I felt beautiful and happy.

MR: When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

TS: I was at a friend’s house when Robyn told me they were up-I was instantly nervous-I wanted to be alone with them for a while-just get used to seeing them-it took a few days, I would look at them whenever I had a moment to myself-I needed to get used to seeing myself.  Now I show them to anybody and everybody.


MR: Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

TS: Everyone has loved them-my mom wants to order a bunch-she has wanted me to do something like this for a while.  My sisters want to be next-but they live in California.  It has been very flattering to get so many compliments.

MR: Did you feel beautiful during the shoot? Why? Why not?

TS: Yes I did-Robyn and Monica were very complimentary and very genuine-they really put me at ease-they are both so naturally beautiful, inside and out-it was easy to feel beautiful in their presence.


MR: Did you feel empowered? Why?  Why not?

TS: Yes I felt very empowered, it was liberating. To be the center of attention is a powerful feeling, not in a self-involved way, but just to celebrate you-how often do we get a chance to do that?

MR: Since the shoot happened almost a month ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

TS: Yes, I feel a lot more comfortable around a camera now-I used to view the camera as almost an enemy, out to get me-not everyone is going to capture me as beautifully at Robyn and Monica, but I feel like a have a more realistic idea of what I really look like-and I am happy with me.  I feel more comfortable in my own skin, a have found a new sense of confidence in myself.


MR: Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? Why?

TS: Yes, it was one of the high lights in my life-to get some photographs of myself that I like-I feel like we, as woman spend so much time encouraging other people–telling them how beautiful and wonderful they are-it was nice to feel like I had permission to do something special just for me.

MR: Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  Why?

TS: I would like to convince every woman I know to do this.  To celebrate who you are right now-it is a real gift to give yourself. We all should celebrate who we are at any age.  I feel so lucky to have done this.  All too often we think about something like this, and say, well, if I lose 5 pounds, or when I get my hair done, etc-just do it now-embrace who you are right now.


MR: How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? As gifts?

TS: I would like to have some prints made for myself-and my family wants some-I know I cherish these images for the rest of my life.

MR: If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

TS: Fantastic experience, I think this Revelation Project that Robyn and Monica have started is a brilliant idea-something that is life changing in a positive way for anyone that experiences it.  I hope this continues to grow and that more women will take the time to celebrate their beauty.  The thing that has been the most striking about all the photos of the women who have been photographed for this project is what you see in their eyes-incredible.

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The Revelation Project IV: Bethany Harvey Stewart

To know her is to adore her. Bethany Harvey Stewart is one of the most unassuming women I have ever met.  I have known Bethany for a few years now and our friendship has deepened over time with the advent of children, Facebook, and now, photography.  I really enjoyed photographing Bethany for so many reasons….most of all because I witnessed that *moment* when she finally just “let go” and gave herself permission to show up in the photographs….and once she did she literally shone like a prism.  She makes me remember that we are in fact spiritual beings- our body is our vessel, and our eyes the windows to our soul.

1) What did you think about the approach of the upcoming photo shoot ( before you got there) and what were the results you were expecting?

When Robyn and Monica first asked me, my first reaction was that it would be fun.  But, after I thought about it some more I was terrified.  I was very nervous, not so much about taking the photos, but about other people seeing them.  I was worried that people might think I was a narcissist for having pictures taken of myself, when in reality my self esteem was at a very low point.  An interesting thing happened on the drive over, though.  I really felt exhilarated by the idea of doing something that scared me.  That hadn’t happened in a while!  As far as what I was expecting,   I know that you both are wonderful photographers, but you can only do so much with a subject!  I have never enjoyed posed photos of myself….aside from my wedding photos and pictures of my pregnant belly. So, I was not confident…in me, not in you!

2) How did you feel during the shoot and was there anything in particular that made you feel more or less relaxed or open to the process? Can you tell me if there was a point in which you finally “surrendered” to the shoot and do you remember when, and what made it happen?

I loved that the pictures were being taken at your home and on regular furniture, not with traditional photography props and and backdrops. That put me at ease somewhat.  You and Robyn have such a good time together, and you both kept me laughing.  I don’t know if I ever really “let go” completely, but you were both good at distracting me and eliciting natural smiles and expressions.

3) Can you describe in three words the way you felt before we shot.

Exhilarated, terrified, unworthy

4) 3 words for after

Exhilarated, optimistic, empowered

5) Three words for when you saw the results

Thrilled, surprised, flattered

6) After you left but before you saw the results – did you have any thoughts about the experience?  What were some of the things you thought about on the drive home?

I was laughing all night about some of the antics you two went through to get me loosened up!  I was really nervous about having the pictures posted on facebook for the world to see.

7) When you saw the results can you tell me your first impression?

I wasn’t sure I was really looking at me!

Can you talk about the feedback you received from those who saw your photographs?

I got so many wonderful comments from friends and family (mostly women).  I think most of them understood the motivation behind the photo shoot. So many of us stop thinking of ourselves as beautiful individuals once we take that leap to motherhood.   Many women told me how brave they thought I was.

9) Did you feel beautiful during the shoot? why? why not?

Ummm, I was still feeling pretty unworthy during the shoot.  When you showed me a couple of the shots on your camera mid way through, I felt a little more confident.

10) Did you feel empowered? why?  Why not?

That feeling didn’t really hit me until after the shoot.  I was so proud that I went through with it. It was so outside of my comfort zone…and I hadn’t been there in quite some time. That felt amazing.

11) Since the shoot happened almost two weeks ago now can you talk about the lasting impact of the experience?  Has it altered the way you view yourself or your surroundings?

Since participating in the revelation project, the truth that has come to light for me is that sometime during the last five years, since I quit my job to be with my two children full time, I ceased to really see myself as an individual.  I always put my needs last, even denied that I might have needs outside of caring for my family.  Now many might say that that is what being a parent is all about.  Being a parent requires always considering the needs of one’s children.  I don’t argue with that.   The question I have come to ask myself is, isn’t there a way to fulfill my own needs without sacrificing the needs of those I love? Wouldn’t taking care of myself and truly being happy and fulfilled,  wouldn’t that in fact be the best gift to (and example to set for) my girls?   Seeing those pictures of me (not of me and my kids, or even of me and my husband but of JUST ME) woke something up inside of me that had been buried far too long.  I am excited to get to know myself again and I insist on making my own happiness a priority.  The reality is, if I am not truly happy, I am not really capable of offering by best self to others either.  We all deserve more.

12) Do you think this was an important/valuable experience for yourself? why?

Yes!  I knew that I had been feeling low, but I didn’t quite realize how badly I had been perceiving myself until looking in hindsight after this experience.  It was an amazing feeling looking at a beautiful, confident woman and realizing I AM HER.  WHOA. Who knew?

13) Do you think it’s relevant for other women?  why?

Yes!  I have been encouraging everyone to try this.  It’s hard to explain, but it’s like stepping outside of yourself and gaining a new and better perspective – on YOU.  I am thinking more than I have in a long time about who I am as an individual and what I need to be happy and fulfilled.  I want to make that woman in the photos proud!

14) How would you use the photos moving forward? Professionally? Personally? as gifts?

Any of the above.  I am so happy to have them for my girls, too.

15) If you could sum up the experience what would you say?

I would say that this experience is an incredible gift you can give to yourself.

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Revelation: Dyslexic Gift Giving

Many of us are “caretakers”  and probably do not even know it.

Many of us who are completely well intended to give and be helpful to others have an issue  that Robyn calls Dyslexic gift giving, or “backward” gift giving.

I personally love to give.  I love to help people, and protect people, and take a stand for people, and take the shirt off my back for people, and before last night I would have considered those things an act of “giving.”

A friend of mine once said about me : “She’ll take the shirt off her back for people but then she would not have a shirt”  well duh! I thought… but I did not really get the bigger implications of that statement till now.

Last night Robyn helped me realize that sometimes the gift I think I am giving does not really involve the act of giving. Instead it involves the act of “taking” – as in,  ”taking on” someone else’s burden or “stuff”- and she further pointed out that to do this is actually not helpful… not even for the one you thought you “took” the burden from because you are keeping them back from having the experience that’s theirs to have and learn from.

I can give the gift of listening – but I can’t do someone else’s work.  Hell, I can brush their teeth for them but I can’t have a root canal for them.  Not taking it on is a real challenge for me.

Mostly I end up being the sherpa for other peoples baggage instead of realizing that I don’t need to carry that load. I can “help” them unpack a bit- show them places along the way where they might consider “unloading” some stuff… but wearing the burden for them and adding it to my own load only does us both a disservice.

She says It’s like the law of gravity – it just is. You are giving or you are taking and it’s one or the other.

So my insight was that sometimes I *THINK* I am “giving”  someone something: letting them off the hook, putting their needs before my own, enabling them by not speaking out as I see it, doing something *for* them that’s really theirs to figure out, accommodating, rescuing, covering… to look at it instead as a huge dis-service to us both.

It’s nice to think about GIVING in a completely different way, and what it REALLY is because unless what I am doing is actually is, it was never really a gift anyway which is completely the opposite of where my heart is.

What do you think?  Can any of you relate?  Got any good examples?  I’d love to hear.