Tag Archives: Seth Godin

Say Something.

You already have permission

Just saying.

You have permission to create, to speak up, and stand up.

You have permission to be generous, to fail, and to be vulnerable.

You have permission to own your words, to matter and to help.

No need to wait.   – Seth Godin

the voice

This was Seth’s blog post today.  Just this; just this simple.

This made me think about why so many of us just sit, and don’t stand, stay quiet and don’t speak, only take on the tasks we know we can accomplish, and are adverse to risk, adverse to failure, and are always wanting to attach ourselves to people we think “matter”, as if they are somehow more deserving than we are; more worthy.

When is the last time you stood up and said something?

Gave yourself permission to do something?

Do you remember how it felt?

Did you feel exhilarated?

Liberated?

I hope you’ll let me know what it was, and how it made you feel in the comments below. 

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How to Fail Well, and Fail Often

failure

I once read a story told by one of my favorite marketers.  He was describing a job interview that an applicant was having with a thriving company.

The executive conducting the interview wanted to know about the applicants job history, the projects he/she had worked on, and skills he/she had that might add value to the position being offered.  He also asked the applicant what he/she had failed at in his/her professional or personal life.

The applicant downplayed and minimized his/her failures and redirected the conversation toward his/her strengths and successes.

At the end of what seemed to be a delightful and positive interview the applicant asked for the job.

The executive paused for a moment- and acknowledged that although he thought the applicant had a lot to offer, he felt strongly that he/she had not experienced enough failure to really have the wisdom he felt his growing company needed.

The applicant was stunned.  You mean, he/she would have gotten the job if he had failed more?!!!

YES.

Those who fail, learn.

Those who learn, gain wisdom, perspective, and insight.

Human beings are not born with these skills – but given the opportunity over and over again to get good at failing.  Most of us refuse- and so we insulate ourselves from it and keep ourselves safe and small choosing only to do the things that they think will end successfully.  This way ,they can continue to feel good about themselves and protect themselves from learning and growing.  Silly – yes?

Fail More. Fail Often.

What has your biggest failure taught you?  Do you wish it hadn’t happened, or did it give you wisdom, perspective, and insight?  I’d love to hear. 

 

 

 

Revelation: Blown Away

The following is taken from Seth Godin’s Blog (oh how I love this man)

“…but what really blew me away…”

A simple fill in the blank for creating a remarkable service, partnership or experience:

“I was pleased that I got what I paid for, that the food was properly cooked, that they honored their contract, that the roller coaster worked, that there was no trash on the ground and that the staff looked me in the eye. But what really blew me away was _____”

By definition, whatever goes in the blank is an extra, more than you had to do. But what you must do to be considered remarkable. (Remarkable is what we call something we remark on).

I love reading Seth’s posts because not only are his insights applicable to my fanatical interest in all things business and marketing… but they are so applicable to everyday life.

These days- what does it take for someone to :

“blow us away? ….”

I know what it is for me….

In everyday life what blows me away is when someone looks me in the eye and actually shows up in a real and authentic way.

In other words,  they are full of integrity.  No smoke and mirrors… not hiding behind a facade of “my life is perfect and I have it all handled” – but really willing to be with their own human mess, as well as be with yours.

I am blown away by people who dare to have dialog honestly and openly about what matters to them and what they feel passionate about, afraid of, or inspired by.

I’m blown away by people who walk away from small conversations or gossip or bravado and have the sense to know that the playing field in that place is simply too empty and small for them.

I’m blown away by people who have the courage to show up and be accountable for their own life.

I’m blown away when someone makes a mistake or does something shitty to someone else and has the greatness to “clean it up” and try again.  It’s so refreshing when someone can own their own human- ness and apologize and take responsibility for their behavior without making some lame excuse or adding any “if’s and’s or but’s.”

It blows me away when someone will unabashedly LOVE another and remain loyal-  standing for them in the face of disagreement, even when no one is looking.

I’m blown away by people who stop to help someone else and go out of their way to contribute to the lives of someone they do not know.

How about you? What does it take to blow YOU away?

 

 

Where Life Lives

I have always loved the english language.  I love the very precision with which someone can use a word to define an emotion, experience or viewpoint.   I love how words can be intricately sewn together to conjure stories and pictures for someone to to follow- like a thread that has the power to weave storyteller and listener into the close embrace of relationship that can leave the two connected at a heart level forever more.

Words can also be used for harm and it’s the power of these dark and reckless utterances that cause misunderstanding, dis-ease, and even war.

Sticks and stones?  I’d choose them any day over “the names can never hurt me” part.

Words have the power to kill… or heal, and the in between places between these two disparate lands is where life lives… the conversation.

Life lives inside of a conversation.

This is what I believe.

If you don’t like the way your life is… it might help to look at the conversations you are having.

As human beings we have free will at all times. Even when we are being held physically captive we can “choose” a way of being that no one can ever take from us.  I think of historically of Gandhi, Susan B. Anthony, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr..  I think of  writers and poets who lead our conversation down new realms of thought like Rumi,  and Walt Whitman, Eckhart Tolle,  Artists who invite us into their visual conversations like Georgia O’Keefe,  Picasso, Frida Kahlo and Today we see business and Life conversation leaders such as Seth Godin, and Danielle LaPorte  or Steve Jobs. Locally we have conversation leaders who have something to say about life and and way’s of being that help others live more joy and self expression like Erin Goodman, Bethany Harvey Stewart, and Miquette Bishop. who are all creating new conversations inside their communities through their work and creativity, their blogs, and their willingness to show up for community events that they personally align with and support.

Everywhere you look and at every turn people are “talking” – but what are they really saying?  Is the conversation worthy of your time? Your input? Your support?

And how about you?  What is your conversation?  It’s interesting to stop and listen ( and can take some time and practice) to hear ( deep inside) what you are saying in there.  Also – if you listen closely there are some dominating ones….

Until you stop and really listen and distinguish what they are – it’s very difficult to change them, and because we can really only be focusing and thinking of one thing at a time – sometimes we have endless conversations about the same thing in our head all day long.

Some conversations are what I call “small”- meaning…  the conversations won’t go anywhere, don’t shift or change or grow a perspective, and box us into a way of being that is disempowering.

For example it could be the “I’m Fat” conversation. Kind of limiting right? I know it sounds silly but if you are laughing you know exactly what I am talking about.  You may not realize how much of your day this inside conversation monopolizes.. so start paying attention.

It may be the “I’m getting old” conversation or the ” I’m broke” conversation or the “I need a boyfriend conversation…”

Unfortunately many of us actually engage others ( when we can) into this conversation that never really goes anywhere… it’s just inner dialog turned outward and usually we are just telling our inner “story” about it which feel’s a lot like getting barfed on over time. If you are a friend whose heard a familiair story from another over and over and over and over… and over… well I think you are probably nodding your head yes?

Imagine if that was no longer your conversation?  What could you fill it with instead? Something positive? Inspiring? Reaching? Stretching? Life Giving?  YES!  Here in comes the BIGGER.

YOU have free will.. and can create a NEW conversation to focus on that can shift your entire being, perspective, access to joy and fulfillment…. it also has the power to then shift how you relate to others and how others relate to YOU.

So… what would that be like?

Exciting isn’t it?

I’d love to hear about the conversations you are having in the world and how they motivate or inspire yourself and others! Are they changing and growing you? How? Please comment – I’d love your participation on this one! XO

 

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The Lynchpin and The “Value” of Women

Martha Washington is the only woman whose portrait has appeared on a U.S. currency note. It appeared on the face of the $1 Silver Certificate of 1886 and 1891, along with the back of the $1 Silver Certificate issued in 1896.

There is so much I want to share with you about what I am learning as a forty- one year old woman. The most important “revelation” of late had me stop tidying the house in mid swiff so I could sit down and post about it.

My revelation is that women don’t value themselves (I know, I know, at times I can be such an oracle of the obvious)

I’m morbidly fascinated by the sheer volume of women who are unable to see, own, and advocate on their own behalf as it relates to their contribution’s in the world.

Let me just take the example:  Mom’s who stay at home to raise the family.
This topic in itself opens up a completely mind blowing conversation about her sense of “value”.   I have come to know so many women who do not feel a sense of worth because their role is not measured by currency.   Where does this phenomenon originate from?

If I were to logically map out her contribution to her family using traditional business terms her “worth” would be crystalized.  In the business world she is what Seth Godin would refer to as the company lynchpin.

So, for all my stay at home to raise the family mom friends out there – I want you to put on your business hat for a moment and take a quick jump back in time.  Before you formed the partnership with your spouse which I will now refer to as: “the corporation” you both invested the “sweat equity” into the dating process that landed you “the job” except that it’s not just any job, it’s the job that any “founder” of a company would be faced with- and it’s the job of running the organization side by side with your partner of choice ( well, hopefully it was by choice), and shouldering the awesome responsibility of making sure each department, team member, and product is being overseen, managed and taken care of.

When you married,  the “merger and acquisition” took place began to blend your two individual lives into one – and then, comes the  production of the company assets (KIDS!).

If you made the decision to stay at home I want to first say “BRAVO” because that was the decision that worked for your family at the time and likely made a lot of sense. In order to “scale” and “maximize efficiencies” one partner will stay home and manage the growth (children and family obligations) while the other continues to work outside the home  and secure additional business development opportunities on “the road”, and he likes to be able to work hard because his ROI ( return on investment) is a happy, healthy, loving family that is thriving by his contributions just as they are by hers.

If marriage and raising a family were equated to building a company than the various “positions” of the company are dévide up and each of the two “founders” contribute an enormous amount of value.   Wouldn’t it feel kind of ludicrous to impute an income to Dad for the hours he dedicates to his children?

If we *must* place a value on their roles In and outside the home than maybe it would like look this?

The “working” partner:  CFO, CIO, VP of Sales, maintenance, grounds keeper, management,

The “Stay at home” partner :  CEO, COO, CMO, laundry, travel agent, cafeteria, and HR, and alternate temp.

Basically you can look at this argument and clearly see that the division of labor is equitable for the sake of this example~ right?

Then why is it that so many women who run the households and manage the sheer volume of work in the home while raising a family have little to no sense of their worth when it comes to their compound value?  If you were to impute an actual income to her contribution in the work force it could be argued then, that her salary would actually be potentially higher than her partners based on the sheer number of “positions” she maintains.

I used to get really hung up on this in my marriage because in addition being this mom as illustrated above- I would hire a “temp” ( sitter ) to fill in while I worked outside the home so that I could feel like I was making a monetary contribution as if that was somehow “worth” more and could finally be “counted.”

Now, I know that times have changed ( ha ha ha) and there are many more of us who lead much more fulfilled  lives while managing both home and work life right?  We feel much more appreciated and acknowledged for the “value” we bring to our marriages and our companies now that we are liberated and able to earn an income right?

hmmm… i’m thinking not.   Women have an ongoing struggle  to feel valued and acknowledged for our contributions to society, family and home.  There is not a monetary équivalant for the contribution we are to the world, and never will be.  There never will be because there is not enough money in the world.

Say it with me: “there is not enough money in the world.”

In order for us to feel valued outside ourselves we must FEEL value inside ourselves.

I think that in order to make this happen- we need to start by:

changing the conversation’s we are having and make them about our “value” not our “lack thereof”

If you are interested participating in this conversation then please sign on to “like” our face book page or subscribe to this blog.  It’s only a matter of time before we create a more empowered and inspired community of women in the world.

Join the Revelation.

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Revelation: An A+ Failure

Until I was in my very late thirties If someone had asked me about my education and what I was like in school growing up, I would have laughed and told them that I was a failure.  Now I think differently.

I think looking back that school failed ME.  Grades were simply not the measure of my intelligence or abilities.  If they had been I would be challenged to believe on paper that the poor grades (F, D, C-, C+) somehow told the larger story of who I am.  Inside I am vibrant, imaginative, kind, and lovable.  I have a great work ethic, and a vision and instinct (when in my zone) that allow me to see an opportunity, act when I am inspired, and speak my truth (the latter more recently).  I wish that I’d been taught instead the value of developing and honing skills of self- reflection. How to learn, apply, and retain information as an individual and how to deepen my learned experiences through INSIGHTS  (AKA: REVELATIONS). Grades can’t tell the more important and essential story which is that knowledge ≠ wisdom.  I think wisdom is gained through other experiences such as:

How I treat someone when the going gets tough?
Who I am when the world, community, friends or family do not agree with my decisions or perspective?
How I behave when I am angry or sad?
How I clean up my messes in life and take responsibility for my mistakes?
How I act when I am successful?
How I communicate toward others and how often and honor and respect their thoughts, idea’s and feelings?
How willing I am to be vulnerable, exposed, and afraid?
How willing I am to own my own greatness, call my own shots, and live from a place of truth- no matter what the outcome?

After college I held my degree for a few minutes in my hands, and since that time I’ve never really laid eyes on it again. Who it mattered to, I’m not really sure… but somehow I got that it mattered. Since that time no one has challenged that I’ve had an education.  They simply assumed I did, and I imagine they assumed I’d had one of the best ( and I have).  What did “Bachelor of Arts” degree really mean to them- or to anyone?  Most people I talk to have no idea what they learned in college academically. For all I know employers, colleagues and clients made up their own assumptions about what degree I earned. No one has ever asked and if they did I’d tell them I made it through my entire school experience and four years of college just by the hair of my chinny chin chin.  What a waste of time all those years comparing my personal triumphs, trials and accomplishments to a grading system that considered my very real and significant developments and dignity not.

I never once felt inferior since graduating- certainly  not to my friends with pedigree’s such as Boston College, Yale, and Columbia, ( I make it up that I even had those friends, ha, I might have- It just never mattered for me to ask, nor have I been asked!) It’s amazing how much “meaning” we attach as a society to grades and status- oh what an illusion.  Throughout my career and my life I have continued to “pass” and learn and grow.  My education is never “finished”,   the difference now is I do not hold myself to anyone else’s standard  but my own, and I’ve fired myself from self judgement, and instead gathered all of the iterations of myself to myself and held them close and safe to tell them:  ”we are as successful as our failures have been (A+)  and that experiencing and allowing failure has proven to be the biggest accomplishment in our collective lives”.

Seth Godin is one of my favorite thought leaders (thought marketers) in the world.  I look for his daily emails/ blog posts because they really make me stop and think.  He listens to his own voice and speaks from his heart and head and most importantly from his failure.  This morning his post was short and powerful… this is what he said:

What (people) want

What do customers, friends, the socially networked, users, neighbors, classmates, servers, administrators, employees… maybe even brands… want?

notice me
like me
touch me
do what I say
miss me if I’m gone

I really got that.  The measures we are brought up believing as most important are, in the grande scheme of things,  nothing more than the least.  At the end of the day, all we really want as individuals striving toward wisdom is to love,  be loved, be acknowledged, be seen, touched, discovered, heard and cherished. Grades are mostly irrelevant.

72YBABBV3EAX

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Revelation: Failure IS an OPTION

It was great to be back in NYC if even for just 24 hours.  Seth Godin was the main attraction and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute spent in an intimate setting of 100 attendee’s listening to him discuss the brilliance of failing.

As a mother, wife, and entrepreneur I’ve known a whole lot of failure, and i’ve actually felt a measure of guilt and shame to go with it.  I never considered wearing it as a badge of honor instead, and considering failure instead as a precious gift that would guide me toward competency and mastery.

(Photo Credit Robyn Ivy)

Why is it so hard for me to look at my failings in life as a gift?  Without those moments I could not have learned- literally.  It’s how I have learned to be a good at drawing, painting, photography, mothering, tennis, breast feeding, yoga, communicating, writing, marriage.

Our baby takes her first steps and falls… do we chastise her?

Our toddler spills water while learning how to drink from a glass… do we punish?

Our young child works to learn to read while failing again and again to achieve the proper sound, intonations, and phonetics of each word… do we shame him?

These are all “teaching moments” that allow our children to continue to strive toward success.   As we grow into adulthood our practical sense and acceptance of failing stops being celebrated and instead as we try to navigate the landscape of the mighty paycheck we “pretend” mastery at things. That’s when I remember the expression “fake it till you make it” rooting itself in my psyche, and in the meantime I completely forgot to embrace my failings as my best friend in my search to get “better” at all things “life”.

(Photo credit: Robyn Ivy)

Seth rounded out the afternoon of insightful conversation with a little story about working with some of his employee’s over the years.  He said that  if his employees never made mistakes he had to pull them aside for a talk.  He’d tell them that they were not failing enough, and that if they were not willing to fail he knew they were not giving him the “best” of themselves they had to give.   I apply that to my own life.  I love to learn, and if I gave myself permission to fail how much could I accomplish in this lifetime?  It reminds me of that quote….

Who would we be if we knew we could not fail?  Opens up a ton of possibilities doesn’t it?  Changes the conversation.

If there are any losers, failures or F*ck-up’s that want to hang out – you know where to find me.  I’m starting to think those people would have a lot to share with me, could teach me an awful lot, and might also give me the room to just be exactly who I am – no faking needed.