I want to go back and look the way I used to look.

I’m depressed about my thickening middle. My sagging knee’s and dimply arms.

My boobs are getting bigger – like not in a good way.

Nothing fits me like it used to and it doesn’t seem to matter how much I exercise.

I hate zippers. I hate them on my pants, on dresses.

I think something is going to look fabulous on me and it looks awful.

Yoga pants are comfy- can I rock these things or what?

Oh god.. I just caught sight of my rear end in the mirror.. I’m angry.  How the hell am i supposed to wear a swim suit this summer?

I don’t want to change.  I liked the way I WAS.  I HATE this.

I don’t want to have to compete with my body or anybody: Botox, fillers, creams…

I am getting older and I can’t accept this new woman who is emerging…

I want to make it go away….

I know… I won’t look. I won’t look. I won’t look. Like “la la la la” for the ears.

I can not change the course of time.  I will get old. I will wrinkle, and shift, and change.

The only thing I have power over is my attitude about it…..

Can I just accept where I am today? Appreciate my life for all I have? Stop comparing myself to the way I was… or the way others are?

Today I am a HUGE complaint in the world.. and nothing more… even though complaining won’t change it.

Today is a great day for reading Lines of Beauty.

SIGH.